Mack Avenue Skullgame
Vinnie Pick of the Week
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If you're dealing with us?
Why, yes, you will be
[ Full Review ]








05.02.07
IN BIGGEST FUCK YOU TO OUR TROOPS YET GEORGE W. BUSH EXERCISES VETO POWER: "VETO? IS THAT ANYTHING AT ALL LIKE 'BINGO'?" PLUS: NAOMI CAMPBELL & HER COCAINE HATE BOOZE, BUZZKILLS, NATIONAL FAG LEAGUE [NFL] DRAFT, HEROIN & US, & WELCOME JEFF CHEGWIN!

THIS version of SkullGame is being brought to you by HomoParanoia Comix where you get every joke...in the end.

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HMMMM....FAGGOT!!!



NAOMI CAMPBELL "ALLERGIC TO ALCOHOL". NOT SO MUCH TO COCAINE. OR THE HEADS OF ITALIAN MAIDS & THE CELL PHONES THAT LOVE THEM.

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"OH THIS OL' THING? JUST SOMETHING I THREW TOGETHER..."


NEW YORK (SkullGame) -- Supermodel NAOMI CAMPBELL has "quit" "boozing" after "deciding" she's "allergic to alcohol."

The British catwalk star claims most of her well-publicized bust-ups and breakdowns are alcohol related -- and she has decided to stop drinking. She says, "I choose not to drink today in my life because I find that I'm allergic to alcohol. I'm not someone that's in denial of my problems and I'm not going to lie about my problems and I'm not hiding my problems with, say cocaine, for example, by manufacturing this whole booze thing. WHAT?!?!?".

"But I have more energy without booze. LOTS of energy. LOTS and LOTS of energy. And I have more fun than when I was drinking and I can hang out really late and get up early in the morning with no hangovers and still smile. Rub my teeth. Wipe my nose. And...did I mention the energy thing again?"



AND from earlier in the week....



NATIONAL FAGGOT LEAGUE [NFL] DRAFT WINNERS ARE...FAGS, OF THE FOOTBALL PLAYING VARIETY, NATURALLY. PLUS: SKULLGAME WELCOMES OUR NEWEST ADDITION JEFFREY CHEGWIN, GEORGE W. BUSH'S NEW MODEL ARMY & OUR WEEKEND OF HEROIN, MUGGLE HUFFING & ARRESTS.

WITH President GEORGE W. BUSH devoting tons and tons of non-nap-non-mountain-biking-non-taking-a-little-bracer-just-for-the-gums time to solving our present crisis in Iraq it seems his think tank level of cogitation on the matter has produced this recent stunning government white paper entitled, "WHY DO YOU THINK THEY CALL IT THE WILD KINGDOM ANYWAY?" that recommends the military use of sub-human primates. Which is why he's the goddamned President for US.

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"OFFICER LANCELOT LINK REPORTING TO DUTY, SIR!!!"




SKULLGAME ENTERS THE NFL DRAFT & COMES UP WITH FOUR WINNERS

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LT IN A MOMENT OF STUNNING CRACK EXCESS EXHORTING HIS TEAMMATES ON THE GIANTS GIRL'S LACROSSE TEAM TO "TAKE IT DOWN THE MIDDLE. AWROOG!"

NEW YORK (SkullGame) -- The combines are finished, the picks have been picked and here we stand on MONDAY, older and a little bit wiser. Forthwith the SKULLGAME GUIDE TO PICKING PLAYERS.

Through exhaustive research it's been suggested that there are only FOUR BASIC male archetypes that should rule your pick process.

TOUGH GUYS
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BILL ROMANOWSKI & HIS LESBIAN WIFE

These are guys that we are perfectly willing to kill.



SMART GUYS
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ANDRE RISON HEADING BACK TO JAIL. NOT COLLECTING $200.

These are guys trying to become TOUGH GUYS.



GOOD GUYS
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POLISH PRINCE SEBASTIAN JANIKOWSKI: HIGH ON LIFE!!!

These are guys who, with great regularity chase pussy your way, put cash in your pocket or get you high. Score a trifecta for the rare cat that does all three. At once.



FAGS
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KOBE 'WHITE BUTT BANDIT' BRYANT

'Nuff said.


Armed with scribble sheets full of sprint times, injury reports and rap sheets SkullGame still finds the above register the most reliable in terms of making picks that will win. And shit.



HEROIN VS. HEALTH FOOD: AND WE HAVE A WINNER...

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HEROIN. DEFINITELY.

CASA SKULL FRIDAY NITE (SkullGame) -- Oh, relax. He's all fucking better now.

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SEE? I'M FINE. NOTE TO SELF: KEEP ALL & SUNDRY COMMENTS ABOUT OLIVIA TO MY GODDAMNED SELF.



AND LASTLY: A few minutes out to welcome this the newest addition to the little dysfunctional SkullGame family, JEFFREY CHEGWIN, another Brit on our staff mostly because porn without Pakis in it or without a requisite number of male-to-male sexual contacts is illegal in Britain. Or some shit like that.

In any case, even though we're still drunk from the weekend, the weekend drunk tank and the car that we will have to explain to Jeff and why we were just helping him lower his carbon footprint we wanted to take 32 seconds out of our day to welcome Mr. Chegwin. Who says he is not gay.

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SKULLGAME "HAZING" TAKES A PREDICTABLE TURN TOWARD ASS POLITICS

And for your edification: THE LIFE CYCLE OF A SKULLGAME WRITER!!!!

Day 1: "Oh! GREAT! A bunch of free porn to review!"
Day 5: "OH...great. A bunch of...free porn to review."
Day 12: "oh...great...a bunch of...free porn to review that I can add to that which I have already not reviewed but need to and now VINNIE is publicly listing my place of work and calling me a GAY EXPERT in print.

Welcome to the fucking family.

Prick.


 


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