BUT FIRST ALLLLLL OF THIS. AND SHIT.....
OPEN BAR INVITATION RESCINDED AS MISS USA SOBS HER WAY OUT OF REHAB. “THANKS YOU FUCKING BITCH,” PUBLIC CRIES AS TARA CONNER DOES TOO. AGAIN. “DON’T IT ALWAYS SEEM TO GO THAT YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU GOT TIL…WELL…SHE’S DRUNK.”—A JUDGE ROY BEAN REPORT.
“YOU KNOW BETTER THAN TO TALK TO ME LIKE THAT WHEN I’M HURTING.” TARA CONNER, THAT FUCKING BITCH, LEARNS YOU A HARD LESSON ABOUT FORGETTING SHIT AT THE STORE.
NEW YORK (SkullGame)—Fucking bitch Tara Conner has reportedly checked herself out of the Wernersville, PA-based Caron Foundation Treatment Center Sunday morning, crying, in order to attend to her Miss USA duties of being a drunk fucking bitch. And crying. Likely at the same time. And likely in front of your friends.
"Right now she's just going to get used to being out…crying in front of other people and shit," an unnamed source told SkullGame reporters. "She needs some time to breathe. Loudly. Tonally even. Who the fuck am I kidding? It’s called screaming. At you. In public. Whilst throwing things.”
A Miss USA spokesperson denied a rumor told to the New York Daily News that Conner, 21, and serious fucking bitch, would be appearing at a Donald Trump owned nightclub directly following her return to New York—presumably due to Trump, Jew, deciding at the last moment to cancel all plans for an open bar for that evening.
“And also because the loud music might drown out her never-yielding shrieks of self-pity and general fucking self-centered, incredible bitchisms,” a pageant spokesperson is quoted, on condition of anonymity, as divulging to SkullGame reporters early Tuesday evening.
“It just won’t be a party without Tara getting drunk and yelling at you. Me. All of us.”
The Kentucky native, and intolerable fucking bitch, was almost stripped of her title in December after reports surfaced that she had attended wild parties in New York's bar scene, tested positive for cocaine, and was seen making out with Miss Teen USA Katie Blair.
Pageant owner Trump announced that he would allow her to remain an enormous fucking bitch if she “settled down” and entered rehab.
"Walking in this morning, in no way did I think it would be possible for a second chance… to embarrass you in front of a group of rather disturbed bar patrons, as I threw my purse at you and loudly told every passing cop where you hide your drugs,” Conner told every male in attendance during a Dec. 19th press conference, holding back tears of maleficent joy. “I've had a very big blessing bestowed upon me — you'll never know how much I appreciate Mr. Trump for letting me cry in front of all of you like I’m getting ready to.”
After a crescendo of sobs, punctuated with flailing fists and charges levied against the sky, Conner continued, “He could have said 'You're Fired.’ He's a very, very compassionate person. If you’re not you, that is. Which you’re not."
ALSO....
WHY JUDGE ROY BEAN DIDN'T MAKE THE ROADIE TO VEGAS WITH US. A COMMUNIQUE OF EXTANT MOMO-RY
I'M. UM. WORKING ON MY NOVEL.
"...And after I finish my new novel entitled WOMEN: WHY DON'T THEY LOSE SOME WEIGHT? and win my pending lawsuit against Steven Spielberg for jacking my ideas but not calling his new movie JEWS 2: THIS TIME WE'RE SUING... well...panties will be melting so fast you'll think me as the white LUTHER VANDROSS...or the black RALPH TRESVANT.
ONE OF THESE WOMEN FUCKS ON FILM FOR A LIVING. THE OTHER IS A BUG-FACED FREAK THAT ESCAPED FROM A PENAL COLONY ON THE PLANET HOT-N-TITE.
THE SMART MONEY SO FAR IS TWO TO ONE IN FAVOR OF AURORA SNOW BEING THE NEXT PORNO STAR WE SMILE AT WHILE POINTING TO OUR PENISES. OR IS THAT PENII?
LAS VEGAS (SkullGame) -- Everybody is shorter than you imagine. From the looks of things we can kick the asses of almost everyone we've met. DICK DELAWARE manages to elude us still. More on all of this later as the room service is here at the room and we need to hide the blow. And the E. And the K. And the LSD. And the H. And the...oh. They left. Well, more on all of this later. After we've um, you know disposed of the evidence.
But first this:
IS THERE A REASON STAGLIANO IS HORNING IN ON OUR FUCKING SPECIALTY OF BIG BEAUTIFUL BONE MONKEYS?!?!?
STEELY ROB: RIGHT PLACE, WRONG PARTY? IT'S A POSSIBILITY.....
TOUGH GUYS. VERY VERY TOUGH GUYS. VERY VERY TOUGH GAY GUYS WHO, UPON DISCOVERING THAT THE YOUNG MR. ROB HAS PHOTOGRAPHED THEM, WILL EXACT A REVENGE LARGELY BASED ON SOME STUFF THEY LEARNED IN THE PRISON SHOWER ROOM. RUN, ROB, RUUUUUUNNNNN.......
IN HONOR OF SUNDAY SPENT WRITING HIS NOVEL JUDGE ROY BEAN REPORTS: VIRGIN MARY ADORNED WITH PROPHYLACTIC IN “HIT IT AND QUIT IT” SCHEME; CATHOLIC WEEKLY MAGAZINE, KNOWING NONE THE BETTER, DISPLAYS AD SUBTLY HINTING TO THEMSELVES WHAT WE’VE BEEN SUGGESTING ALL ALONG.
“CAN’T GET PREGNANT IN MY ASS, MY ASS”, A VISIBLY DISTRAUGHT LADY OF GUADALUPE EXCLAIMS. IN THE BATHROOM. DURING THE HIGHSCHOOL PROM.
WASHINGTON (SkullGame) -- Catholic weekly magazine America recently pulled an ad that displayed the holy Virgin Mary clad in a condom under the heading “Extra Virgin”--with a line of text stating “Mary wears a delicate veil of latex”—resuming a long running campaign of clasping their ears and humming quite loudly while female adherents to their dress code dished out blowjobs and offered more taboo routes of penetration to prospective purveyors of organized crime in the back of borrowed luxury sedans and ranchero-themed “social clubs” through past years innumerable.
Such actions have officially placed the Catholic Church in the #1 ranking of those seemingly oblivious to birth control, leaving Negroes world-wide and JUDGE ROY BEAN desperately vying, neck to neck, for the second place holding of “most sexually negligent”—loudly proclaiming “What now, bitches? 50 bucks and ride. 50 bucks and a ride.” Or, depending on the day, “Can I get a ride? 50 bucks? 5? A smoke? Shit!”
The editors of America apologized with the message: "We were embarrassed to have readers call our attention to the offensive advertisement that escaped our unknowing eyes and appeared in the December 5 issue. Like them, we were deeply offended. The offense was compounded when we learned in the advertiser's reply to a concerned reader that he intended his art as an assault on Catholic faith and devotion."
In related news; the artist—and alleged Jew motherfucker—Steven Rosenthal is busy planning trips to Rome, Dublin, Mexico City, and South Philadelphia while the aforementioned Judge Roy Bean assumes hiding from any nearby thunderstorms and “those goddamned sonsabitches from Top Ten Video that had a collection agency send me a letter last week over that piece of shit movie The Hunted -- which featured neither Ted Nugent or a single motherfucking deer -- that some bitch, years ago, said she would drop off for me but obviously never did. $75 dollars? For what? Some white guy chasing some Mexican around in the woods with a knife? I could drive to your fucking store for $25 and do just the same, my friends. I suppose it’s largely your call.”
SKULLGAME PERSONAL OF THE WEEK A.K.A THE BITCH WE TOOK TO & SUBSEQUENTLY DUMPED OFF IN VEGAS. AT A STICKNEY'S. AFTER DINING & DITCHING
MY COOCH SMELLS LIKE URINE. HI. I PLAY THE ACCORDION!!!
SWF With DID Wants Caring Kinky Man - w4m
Reply to: anon-117188683@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-12-10, 9:05AM
If you're looking for a "normal" woman, please do us both a favor and move on. I'm single by choice, white, in good shape (personal trainer), and attractive enough where I have no trouble getting dates. However, due to some severe childhood trauma, I also suffer from dissociative identity disorder or DID, often mistakenly called Multiple Personality Disorder.
For the past few years, I've fought with medication and several therapists and suffered through relationships with men and sometimes women who just didn't understand the needs of my alters - the other personalities that manifest themselves from time to time. Perhaps I'll never have a long term relationship ubt I have come to realize in the past few years that there are many kinky people in the world and the internet has given me a safe and sane forum to meet them. So, with a hopeful heart, I'm wondering if someone is out there who can handle all of me.
I'm looking for someone who would be comfortable with all of my alters. Understand that I have no control about which alter appears and when, so you have to be the kind of person who goes with the flow.
Audrey - this is "me". I'm a normal woman, I suppose. I like snuggling and enjoy sex.
Trixie - a 19-old runaway. She is a real partier, very bisexual and into sleeping with strangers. She has a temper.
Vance - a stern 45 year old ex cop. This male alter is very dominant and enjoys forcing his partners into anal adventures.
Maggie - A born again Christian, age 35. She is secretly a lesbian and this comes out by the women she brings home, ostensively for her man but actually for herself. She also makea a lot of cookies and follows the "Fly Lady" routine from the internet.
Sara - 25 year old seemingly frigid virgin. Requies a lot of patience as she cries a lot, but will warm up to the right person.
Anyway, that's me right now. I can't promise what will happen in the future, but who can? Can someone out there handle it? I am feeling pretty lonely and would if I meet the right person and we all hit it off, I'd like to get going right away.
Original URL: http://losangeles.craigslist.org/cas/117188683.html
HOW WAS YOUR CHRISTMAS VINNIE?!?!?
WELL THAT IS MY GIRL. I, HOWEVER, AM NEITHER FAT NOR FOND OF DRESSING LIKE SANTA. SO HOW THE FUCK DO YOU THINK IT WAS?!?!?!?
GREAT!!!!
