THIS chest-beating, sack cloth and ash tear fest is being sponsored by DRs. PHIL & BEE TEE DEE on the occasion of their newest self-help tome....
"GODDAMNED RIGHT YOU CAN!!!!"
HAVE YOU SEEN MICHAEL RICHARDS LATELY? DID HE HAVE HIS HAND OUT? TEARS IN HIS EYES? WAS HE HUGGING A NEGRO? OR CLAIMING TO BE A JEW? WAS HE WITH MEL GIBSON? A NATION ON ALERT!!!
"HAHAH...FUCK ALL Y'ALL NIGRAS!!!"
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- Last week, a shocked crisis-management expert Jew Howard Rubenstein angrily acknowledged in the first round of lies that MICHAEL RICHARDS had shouted anti-Semitic remarks in an April standup comedy routine well before his appearance earlier this month in which he harangued hecklers with nigger this and nigger that. But he defended Richards' language about Jews, saying that the comic "is Jewish. He's not anti-Semitic at all. He was role-playing...the role of a shekel-grubbing Christ killer," he said in a desperate move to make these sound like good things.
As Rubenstein's assertion circulated, Jewish organizations and commentators pointed out that the man who played Cosmo Kramer on "Seinfeld," while on a Jew show, has not actually converted to Jew and neither of his parents are Jew.
Which makes him ...
"Technically, not having been born by blood as Jewish and not formally going into a conversion, it was purely his interpretation of having adopted Judaism as his religion," a clearly chagrined actual Jew Rubenstein told The Associated Press. "He told me, `I'm Jewish,' when I asked him. He said there were two mentors who raised him and who had a big influence on his life, Amos was one and Andy was the other, and they were Jewish. He said, `I agree with the concepts and the religious beliefs of Jew and I've adopted Jew as my religion,'" Rubenstein said. "I guess he really thinks of himself as Jewish. Perhaps in the same way that he thinks he's funny."
What do some Jews think?
"You can't feel Jewish. It's not a matter of feeling. You can convert to Judaism. You can't not convert to Judaism and then be Jewish," said Rabbi Marvin Hier, founder and dean of the Simon Wiesenthal Center in Los Angeles. "No more than playing basketball with watermelons makes you Black."
After his tirade came to light, Richards apologized on David Letterman's "Late Show" on CBS, saying his remarks were sparked by anger at being heckled, not bigotry. He also apologized to the Rev. Al Sharpton, and apologized Sunday on the Rev. Jesse Jackson's syndicated radio program. He has since embarked on a nationwide Apologia, hitting Washington, DC first, where he is going door to door to apologize "to all the coloreds."
Rubenstein said Richards wasn't available for an interview Tuesday.
"He wants to rest," the publicist said. "He's been talking to his psychiatrist.
SKULLGAME'S SUCKJOB SCAMMERY REACHES APEX AS JUDGE ROY BEAN SCOURS CRAIGSLIST IN STUDENT STUPIDITY STUNT--A MACK AVENUE EXCLUSIVE.
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STAY TUNED NEXT WEEK FOR REACTIONS OF FEAR, ANGER AND DISMAY. AND JOY. BUT MOSTLY FEAR, ANGER AND DISMAY.
