THIS edition of SkullGame is brought to you by our fine friends at Lilly Pharmaceuticals...
..."WHERE WE'VE BEEN JAMMING UP NEGROES FOR OVER 75 YEARS!"
AUDIOSLAVE'S TOM MORELLO EXPERIENCING SOME VERSION OF THAT IN LA COUNTY LOCK UP. AND SHIT.
TOM MORELLO'S SOLO PROJECT IS SAID TO BE LARGELY BASED ON HIS WHOLLY ENLIGHTENING EXPERIENCE OF LOWER CLASS SOLIDARITY IN COUNTY LOCK UP. EMPHASIS ON "LARGELY," "WHOLLY," AND "ASS SOLIDARITY".
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- "Rocker" and multimillionaire TOM MORELLO was arrested in Los Angeles Thursday night during a protest march to raise awareness for immigrant hotel workers' rights to bring him as many bottles of Cordon Bleu as he goddamned feels like drinking when he feels like drinking it. The Audioslave guitarist, who performed under his Nightwatchman alias at a rally before the march, was charged with unlawful assembly for refusing to move from Century Boulevard, the main entry road to Los Angeles International Airport, where he had just touched down from a recent trip to Monaco.
Four hundred other protesters were arrested at the 2,000-strong march, which Morello and other organizers called, having forgotten the LA riots of a few years ago, "The largest act of civil disobedience in the history of Los Angeles."
Morello and the other arrestees actually planned to be arrested and even gave the Los Angeles Police Department their driver's license numbers days before the event to speed up processing and their eventual sexual subjugation at the hands of "fans" of his music, and his ass, but mostly his ass, in County jail. Of which there seemed to be quite a few.
Speaking before the march, he told MTV, "In these political dark ages, it's important for us to stand up for one another. Or bend over, as the case may be.
"These hotel workers by the airport make 20 percent less wages bringing me Cristal than hotel workers around the rest of Los Angeles who might be bringing me Courvoisier. We're here to express our solidarity with them, to help them unionize and to help them close the gap between their sub-poverty wages and the millions and millions of dollars I make so that people like them can bring me the goddamned libations of my fucking choosing."
FUCKING IDIOT KIP HAWLEY RESPONDS TO CHARGES OF FUCKING IDIOCY; WISCONSIN MAN DETAINED FOR NOTING THE SQUAWK AND WALK OF THE DUCKS AFOOT THE ORWELLIAN POND AS BEING THAT OF FUCKING IDIOTS--JUDGE ROY BEAN REPORTS.
KIP HAWLEY, AT A PRESS CONFERENCE HELD SAT, SEPT 30TH, ADDRESSES PUBLIC CONCERN AS TO MISTREATMENT OF AIRLINE PASSENGERS BY TRANSPORTATION SECURITY ADMINISTRATION AGENTS BEFORE VOWING RETRIBUTION ON WHOEVER JUST STOLE HIS NOSE AND POSING THE EVER-PRESSING QUESTION: "FLAG ON THE MOON, HOW DID IT GET THERE?"
WASHINGTON D.C. (SkullGame)--A man who wrote "Kip Hawley is an Idiot" on a Ziploc toiletries bag whilst en route from MKE International Airport has claimed that he was detained by airport security agents after being deemed a threat to national security.
Ryan Bird, a 31 year old Wisconsin resident, stated that he scrawled the message as a political statement about heightened airport security measures that, until recently, have outright banned the transportation of all liquids, gels, and aerosol products by airline passengers.
"My level of frustration with the TSA and their idiotic policies has grown over 2.5 years," Bird told Associate Press reporters shortly after the incident. "I'm frustrated that poorly trained TSA people can pull random passengers out of line, and pat them down like common criminals, cornholing you incessantly while calling you "cab nigra," "dune coon," "carpet pilot," and various other misnomers not limited to but including "roach rancher," "sand moolie," and many others, when it's quite clear that you are not of any hucka-lucka descent, even if your fingers do smell of your own ass, or even if you do say things about flying the plane your own damned self."
"It's an outrage," Bird concluded. "The average traveler has no recourse."
TSA Director Kip Hawley, when reached by SkullGame reporters over the weekend, formally stated that he "was not a gay" before producing two action figures from his "bubble bath" and staging a half-hour long battle betwixt them complete with sounds of action and various plosives resonating from his mouth.
"Panthor is my favorite," Hawley offered when asked what possible security reforms were being planned to combat future issues of passenger rights violations. "Hordak will never, ever win."
A TSA spokesperson acknowledged the incident, but said the man was detained due to his "combative nature" and suspected ties to He-Man arch-nemesis Dragstor.
"Everyone's entitled to their own opinion," the spokesperson said, "just as we are entitled to raping you with various digits before even spitting in it, anything to protect our beloved Castle Grayskull from you fucking ragheads."
MADONNA HITS NEAR JEW LEVELS OF PERSONAL WEALTH; JEWS UNCONCERNED, SATAN DELIGHTED
MADONNA, SHOWN HERE, FOOLING ABSOLUTELY NO ONE.
LONDON (SkullGame) -- "Pop" "superstar" MADONNA has smashed singing rival BRITNEY SPEARS' record for both the highest annual earnings by a female singer and number of careers destroyed in her wake.
The Material Grandmother raked in an estimated $50 million in 2004 -- over $10 million more than Spears earned in 2000.
DAYS WHEN COMING TO WORK AT SKULLGAME FEELS LIKE WORK
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