Video-X-Pix

Rating: THREE & A HALF "Furry, Blurry and Allllllllll Natural" BUSTED NUTS

Old flicks like this bring a tear to my fucking eye.

At least I think it's a tear...hmmm...yep...it's a big ol' Bon Jovi tear alright.

Neck scarves, blue eyeliner and fu-manchu moustaches: The men had 'em too. Thank you, thank you, you're too kind. I'm at The Funny Fucking Room through the end of the month.

But the thing I dig about this, apart from the fashion tips, is that at this time...the people in these flicks were fucking pariahs outside the industry. So they didn't do it for the fame...and for fuck's sake...certainly not the money. These girls did it for one thing: The Almighty Cock.

Admirable, no?

"CAN I CHECK ON THE CONDITION OF YOUR LOAD, SIR?" ANNIE SPRINKLE & HOW THE WORLD WOULD BE IF SKULLGAME WAS YOUR GODDAMNED HEALTH CARE PROVIDER.

Go ahead, fuckers, laugh.

Laugh at the purists like myself. But you little bastards watch this...I mean REALLY watch this...tell me that the first time you see ANNIE SPRINKLE's USDA-certified milk jugs break free you don't just sit back...in fucking AWE of these things. If that was it...that was the only scene worth watching...it'd be worth twice what we charge you fucks. AND...she gets fucked with a kielbasa by a skinny broad with buck teeth so bad she could eat corn on the cob thru a chain link fence.

Captivating.

There's not a tan-line to be seen...this was in the days of NYC porn, motherfucker...these coked-out fucks never even SAW the sun, let alone lounged around in it. This wasn't only pre-internet porn...this was pre-fucking-microwave porn.

God a'mighty...it's good to be home. -- BUTCHER BOB

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