Private

Rating: TWO “budget cuts” BUSTED NUTS

Private’s SEX ANGELS 2 is a tragedy.

All the hot Euro babes are in place. So it’s not that. And they all get assfucked, so it’s not that, either.

MIA DIAMOND'S BODY IS AS HARD AS HER NAMESAKE, BUT THE PREMISE IS AS SOFT AS OUR DICKS THROUGH MOST OF THIS MOVIE.

It’s that this movie is a really plain, banal, uninterested porn flick with a high-price wrapping. It seems in this instance that the premise and the packaging is of higher importance than the actual reason anyone would buy a fuck vid.

Private is guilty of this more often than not. Sex Angels is a super lame rip-off of Charlie’s Angels, obviously. So the only rationale for validating this plot vehicle is that the situational lead-ups to the fucking would somehow render the fucking more interesting.

Except it doesn’t. Sometimes there is no lead up; only lead-out. Other times, the lead up has little to nothing to do with a spy network of three hot bitches and some moron on speaker phone. So we asks ya, could we do without the sitting around and the jibber-jabber, all of which is uber lamely dubbed over in English, and get some more footage of hot bitches getting it on? With all the money saved on worthless special effects, a rip-off soundtrack, and paying the voice doubles, we could have had more bitches.

So, to sum up:

Bitches getting fucked: yes.

Bitches sitting around talking about getting fucked in contrived situations with horribly plastic voice doubles: no. –- STEELY ROB

Buy it NOW anyway!