Anabolic

Rating: THREE AND A HALF “little green anal people” BUSTED NUTS

Will the real SATIVA ROSE please stand up?

IS THIS THE REAL SATIVA ROSE, OR HER ALIEN ABDUCTED COUNTERPART? YOU'LL NEED TOMMY LEE JONES TO TELL.

For years, the stupendously-racked Latina blazed a trail through nature documentaries featuring both men and women with no clothes on. But she did it with a one-hole handicap.

Now, suddenly, you can’t keep her out of anally-themed fuck flicks. Even in ones without an anal premise, she’s taking it up the ass. Even her new driver’s license has got a shot of her getting ass fucked. It’s so prolific, it’s eerie.

The most plausible reason for this metamorphosis is her agent. He needed help to pay for a new car, so he got Rose to realize that, unlike the Mexican old wives’ tales she’d heard since she was a kid, her po-po hole wouldn’t stick that way after sex. Well, as long as the wind didn’t blow, anyway.

But we’re not believing that. Not fooled for a SECOND. The answer is obvious. Aliens. Aliens have taken over Sativa Rose’s body and are causing her to get assfucked like she’s trying to make up for all the anal abstinence. Someone get a hold of Agent Scully. – STEELY ROB

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