Anarchy Films

Rating: FOUR "But Do They Chug Choad?" BUSTED NUTS

From the pose struck by delectable tattooed blonde FLOWER TUCCI (any relation to STANLEY…?) on the front cover, I had the feeling this was gonna be good. Plenty of silicone tits, tanned skin and aggressive action, in no small way led by the inimitable NICKI HUNTER. Her almost shocking enthusiasm for the job at hand far outweighs the detriment of her spastically bad boobjob.

TOUCHING FLOWER'S TUCCI: WHY IS THERE NO MOVIE NAMED THAT?!?!

The "casting couch" style works perfectly from the start, the girls not too OTT to ruin their scenes. You know what I mean guys, when a slut is so desperate to tease the camera she ends up looking as emotive as Joan Rivers after a labor-intensive facelift. ASHLEY HAZE is all throat-battering, saliva-drooling, pale-skinned, red-haired intensity, the aforementioned Ms. Hunter a hardbodied platinum blonde porno spectacle (her clit hood barbell is truly a thing of beauty in these times of war). Though quite why her stoner-esque partner looks like he wants to go to sleep when he’s got a seriously fuckable vixen toying with him beggars belief – maybe I missed a vital plot point in the meleé…

Flower Tucci keeps up the pace in style – looking more orange than Dale Winton and David Dickinson’s illegitimate lovechild, her awesome tattooed back merely the icing on the cake throughout her top notch, pussy-squirting performance. Never before have strtetchmarks and cellulite looked so attractive on a girl, I shitteth you not. Bailey on the other hand, while being a definite M.I.L.F., has one of the most visually disgusting money shots I have ever had the misfortune to witness. Whether she had an enema before shooting remains to be seen, but never in my life have I seen a GREEN internal cumshot.

Not even Cronenberg would allow that. Still, a top disc with plenty of sick thrills to satisfy. -- TEABAG

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