Private

Rating: FIVE “commitment to excellence” BUSTED NUTS

If there’s a porn version of the planets coming back into alignment, resulting in perfect harmony, it’s PIERRE WOODMAN returning to Private to direct movies again.

"TARANTINO, EAT YOUR HEART OUT!" AFRODITE NIGHT WITH THE RACK THAT LAUNCHED A THOUSAND SEQUELS

In the mid- to late-90s, Woodman elevated his fuck flick craft to near retarded perfection. The ex-cop turned director’s movies all had plots that invariably featured liberal use of callous edginess, wrapped up in cavalier presentation that most prominently featured consistently hilarious dubbed over spoken parts. These were so oddly timed and awkward that they actually made the movies more likeable.

In terms of porn, I grew up watching Woodman’s movies in French. The early ones didn’t have English tracks. So out of nostalgia, I viewed SEX CITY, the latest and greatest Woodman movie yet, in French. At least the actual fucking is the real actors.

Sex City is obviously based on the smash hit SIN CITY. Like that movie, much of the scenes have sections in black and white, with select pieces of clothing in red or yellow. The result is artistic, eye-catching, and contributes to the eroticism. The tones are impossibly buttery and velvety, which also contributes to the movie’s appeal.

Since it’s a Woodman movie, you can be sure all the women are gorgeous, and even if they’re not, they look gorgeous in the movie. Even in the most depraved and stupid scenes, you wish the dude could be you in the movie.

How do we measure a perfect porn at Skullgame? When we blow loads to it in many installments over many days, not missing a second of the movie. And there’s more to come. Can’t wait. – STEELY ROB

Buy it NOW!