Lethal Hardcore

Rating: FOUR "What Are The Chances?" BUSTED NUTS

Revenge against prom queens seems to be the latest flavor of dick-stiffening obsession. But it’s just like any other wacky shit you freaks can come up with to get your jollies: make the girls hot, and don’t throw a lot of man ass in the way to ruin the view.

As far as CONFESSIONS OF A TEENAGE ANAL QUEEN is concerned, mission fucking accomplished.

LANA CROFT ON THE THAI IDOL TV SHOW? SIMON SAYS, "FUCK YEAH."

Five girls, all of whom have a deep, dark secret to confess. You’ll never believe it, either. They all, SECRETLY, want to get assfucked! Can you believe it? What are the chances?

For every Asian video whore that doesn’t take it in the ass, there’s one that nearly makes it up for all the others’ shortcomings. We’re glad LANA CROFT is here. She doesn’t swing on vines, carry two pistols, or raid tombs, but she’s got a tight, dark-skinned Oriental bod, and we’d rather see her naked and fucking over her big-screen counterpart any day.

Covergirl CODI would definitely be our second choice for a little tag-team action. She plays the stupid porn queen gone unfulfilled nearly perfectly, and there’s something about the way she chooses to say “asshole” like she’s suddenly from the ghetto that positively toes the line between the obnoxious and the oddly alluring.

Bah, it’s probably our senses talking that saw her in the pile driver position, looking up at the camera, asking for her next anal round. Ding, ding. –- STEELY ROB

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