Red Light District

Rating: FOUR "Knuckle Duster" BUSTED NUTS

NYOMI ZEN's looks remind me of this chick I know called Christina. The only difference is Christina's a frigid cow who twitches if you so much as brush her back whereas NYOMI's an unregenerate whore who does ass-to-mouth on camera.

I think I like NYOMI better. Too bad Christina's the one in my orbit. Gonna be an uphill battle to bang her. But like they say, where there's a will, there's a way frustrated guy punching the sky and cursing his lot.

WHAT LANA LAINE DOESN'T KNOW IS THAT HER AMERICAN IDOL HAS BEEN REPLACED WITH A COCK ON A COUCH IN CHATSWORTH.

I dig all the hoes in this flick, especially NYOMI and the new-to-me LANA LAINE. The only thing I don't dig is the popshots. The faces are perfectly poised for receiving (like little chirping baby birds), but no guy musters much more than a dribble onto his own knuckles.

TEE REAL's the main offender here. Dude's gotta have the world's laziest sperm. They get to the end of his dick and think, nah, that's enough fucking sunshine for me.

Still, at least he's banging NYOMI. While I'm stuck wondering if Christina would like a coffee. Or a load? -- MR. XTRA

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