NEW REALITY TV SHOW ON FUCKING ON FILM TO FIND FUCKERS WHO WANT TO FUCK ON FILM
“Isn’t that just porno?”, a stunned and confused nation asks
American TV viewers are bracing themselves, cocks tightly clutched in fists, for the raunchiest reality show to date--a talent search for porn stars with porn star talents: the ability to be filmed sucking cock, eating paste, and smiling.
FORMER GUBERNATORIAL HOPEFUL MARY CAREY WITH HER DRAMA COACH ACTING LIKE SHE'S GETTING A SAUSAGE UP THE JAXI
MARY CAREY, the adult film actress who lost out on her recent bid to become Governor of California, is among the hosts of Can You Be a Porn Star? joining TABITHA STEVENS and GINGER LYNN, who more than ably answers the question by STILL BEING a porn star, albeit a raging and aging one.
WANT TO KNOW HOW TO HOOVER LIKE ME?? LET ME SHOW YOU HOW!!!
Silhouette Productions plans to shoot seven one-hour shows, and expects to start broadcasting on iN Demand Networks and other pay-per-view channels on January 8. A group of 28 women will compete for a one-year contract with a major adult video distributor and a cash prize of $100,000.
"What the fuck," says a suddenly shocked and surprised VINNIE ROSE from MACK AVENUE SKULLGAME. "$100,000?!?!?!!? Jesus!! Call VICKY in here!!! She’s got some work to do!!! And get me the genius on the phone who thought this shit up!!!"
Silhouette Productions CEO HARRY FEINGOLD says, "Oh yeah, Vinnie how the fuck are you? Listen, there’s going to be an R-rated version for pay-per-view. But obviously, there will be outtakes that will be hardcore, which will likely turn up on DVD release later."
“Can I tell you sir that you are a genius? Said the genuflecting ROSE.
“Yes. Yes you may, Vinnie,” said the ever-gracious Feingold.
In each episode, four women arrive at a house in Los Angeles for photo shoots, interviews and "surprises." Viewers, who can pry their cocks loose long enough to reach a pen, will help pick eight finalists for a 90-minute fuck-filled finale.
ENRIQUE IGLESIAS PARTIES WITH LAPDANCERS; SKULLGAME SUSPECTS FAGGOTRY STILL
Pop hunk and near-homo ENRIQUE IGLESIAS partied with a posse of lapdancers of yet indeterminate sexual orientation at ex-girlfriend CHRISTINA AGUILERA’s London bash this week -- even though he's supposed to be dating ever-famished, always-eating tennis babe, beard, and buffet-hound ANNA KOURNIKOVA.
IGLESIAS SHOWS OFF HIS NEW BEARD: "THEY DON'T KNOW YET, DO THEY? WHAT ABOUT NOW? OK. NOW? WHEW."
The singer arrived at the city's exclusive Elysium club with an entourage of sexy ladies (despite his high-profile relationship with the Russian beauty) in a vain attempt to throw off the near-pervasive scent of sissy that follows him around in much the same way that that cloud of dirt follows around PigPen.
WHAT??!?! WHAT?!?!? WHAT THE FUCK IS THE PROBLEM?!?! HE'S JUST A FRIEND?!?!?
"Enrique's guest list read like the line-up at the Playboy mansion. He turned up with loads of stunning girls. He was blatantly lapping up all the attention. If he’s not trying to prove something, hide something, or cover the near-pervasive scent of sissy that clings to him like an off-chartreuse angora sweater, I don’t know who is, sweetie," said onlooker and attendee TOM CRUISE.
And speaking of CHRISTINA AGUILERA:
ITALIAN SALVOS: DOUCHE CHILLS FOR EVERYBODY!
Ever since MTV stopped showing videos and went to steady stream of long form programming, 95% of television watching population of Prisons and County Jails across the country have been glued to Emmy winning programming like MTV Spring Break, MTV Summer House, MTV Real World and Total Request Live.
This "Captive" Population has always been a guaranteed ratings push for MTV. That is until last week, with MTV's premiere of Rich Girls where the collective breathe of 750,000 prisoners was literally sucked out of their bodies at the very sight MTV's misguided fall addition. The shudder was felt from within the Castle-like walls of Trenton State Prison all the way to the wind swept yard of San Quentin on the San Francisco Bay.
When asked for comment, an unnamed convict stated: "When I seen Jaime Gleicher's bulbous fucking head I nearly ran down the tier and sucked a cock. I mean my balls literally crawled up into my asshole." When asked to elaborate the same tattooed behemoth merely shook, cried and said. "What happened to Christina Aguilera?!?"
WELL THERE WAS ME, AND JOANNE WORLEY, AND, UM PHYLLIS DILLER....YEAH, WE ALL WERE THERE. IT WAS GREAT.
Evidently this poor slob has not seen any recent photographs of the portly Christina Aguilera. Because we at MACK AVENUE SKULLGAME also shout: "What happened to Christina Aguilera?”
Another very large inmate who asks to be named only as Tyrone beat his ham-sized fists on the table that separated us and said through gritted teeth: "I would like to take that ugly Hilfiger bitch and shove her straight up that other bitches ass!" at which point he promptly got up, asked us all for a hug, and beat a hasty exit.
Again, we to at Mack Avenue Skullgame shout: "What happened to Christina Aguilera?"
DRUG-FREE AND LOVING IT!!!!!!
