Platinum X Pictures

Rating: FOUR "Was The Title 'Rice-Eating Gooks' Taken?" BUSTED NUTS

The first time you see a porn slut in action is often the best time you see her. Only lousy directing can spoil that maxim. Or a future transition from vag-only to anal, creampies, horse-penis, anal creampies from horse-penis, and cumfart felching.

After that it's often a case of "Emm, not her again." If not, "Christ, are we married now?"

AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S SO FUNNY? IN AN HOUR YOU WANT YOUR COCK SUCKED AGAIN? THANK YOU, NYOMI ZEN.

And so, viewing NYOMI ZEN and ROSANNA ROSE for the first time, I find myself jerking it to the goddamn INTERVIEW segments. That's before the fucking even starts. Jerking it and sending ropey spasms of liquid seed dancing across the sky in a loping arc of coconut joy!

Sure, that last sentence is the kind of bad poetry you could sing along to any random Doors' "tune," but it's also what happens when you watch this movie. But that's only if you like petite Asian chicks with shaved pussies. And have a cock.

A cock which will also be entertained by the presence of VERONICA LYNN (who's had her hair curled; mistake), ASIA (the ho, not the continent), and especially KAIYA LYNN. Whose pleas to swallow cum almost convince me that she likes it. -- MR. XTRA

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