THIS edition of SkullGame is brought to you by our affiliates at BAD COP-BAD COP Enterprises...

...WHERE "WHAT HAPPENS IN THE EVIDENCE ROOM BEFORE NIGHTSHIFT, STAYS IN THE EVIDENCE ROOM BEFORE NIGHTSHIFT. YOU FUCKING SNITCH."

JEWS STEAL SOME MONEY IN PALESTINE AND, WELL, JUST ABOUT EVERYWHERE. AGAIN.

"GIVE OUR AMERICAN DOLLARS TO GUYS NAMED JAMIL SO THEY CAN PRACTICE THEIR GODDAMNED PEACEFUL RELIGION ON BUSES WITH BOMBS?!?! FUCK NO. I'M GOING TO VEGAS, SCHLOMO!!!"

JEW LAND (SkullGame) -- Israel's Cabinet Sunday immediately halted the transfer of funds to the Palestinian Authority. Acting Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert said his government will not hold contacts with any Palestinian government in which Hamas plays a role and, uh, sort of just wanted to "keep the money anyway...you know, just to smell it."

Given Hamas' recent parliamentary election victory, totally unanticipated by a Bush White House that had given the Israelis several billion dollars to study the root causes of Palestinian poverty, "the Palestinian Authority is, in effect, becoming a terrorist authority. ... Israel will not agree to that," Olmert said at the start of a Cabinet meeting. "Nor pay for it. Or anything else for that matter." he said, smiling from underneath a green eyeshade.

The Cabinet stopped the payment of about $50 million a month in tax money collected on behalf of the Palestinians. Cabinet Minister Ronnie Bar On said the Cabinet will instead favor influence peddling, international banking and/or worldwide control of the media. "Can't hurt, might help," said Olmert.

KID ROCK & CREED'S MAN-WOMAN SCOTT STAPP EMBROILED IN SEX...OH JESUS. WE CAN'T EVEN FINISH THIS...

THINGS WERE COOKING ALONG JUST FIIINNNEEEEEE...AND THEN: SCOTT STAPP...

LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- A sex tape, which sadly shows near gay, former CREED frontman SCOTT STAPP and, horribly fallen rapper, KID ROCK involved in explicit sex acts with groupies, is set to be released by our pals at RED LIGHT DISTRICT. The saucy, and sickitating footage, in which the two rockers are heard talking to one another, in a fashion that can only be described as "overwhelmingly gay," during sexual encounters on a tour bus, was made when Kid Rock and Stapp toured together six years ago.

David Joseph, the president of distribution company Red Light District says, "We acquired the tape from a third party, NOT named SCOTT STAPP. We haven't decided exactly what we are doing with the tape we got from someone NOT named SCOTT STAPP, but our goal is to release it toward the middle of this year in order to fully destroy the threadbare remnants of whatever was left of Rock's erstwhile 'career.'"

Stapp married former Miss New York Jaclyn Nesheiwat last Friday at a black-tie ceremony in Miami, Fla. where he was soon arrested for trying to wash away an impending week of heterosexual sex with public drunkenness the following day at LAX airport, while en route to his "honeymoon" in Hawaii.

Jesus.

EVA LONGORIA STILL A FAN OF THAT WHICH IS BROWN, LONG AND IN HER MOUTH, IN LATEST HOLLYWOOD NON-SHOCKER

WILL WORK FOR A HIGH COLONIC!

LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- Desperate Housewives "star," daughter of a Mexican bicycle cop, and professional liar EVA LONGORIA was uncomfortable filming a scene where her character performed yoga naked -- until producers bribed her with chocolate. And Negro cock.

The "actress", who plays sexy Gabrielle Solis on the show, was "nervous" about filming her scene, so producers chose to "ply" her with "Godiva" "chocolates" to "help calm her nerves." And cock.

A source says, "It's a hilarious scene, but Eva needed some coaxing first." Producer Marc Cherry knew the star had a sweet tooth for sweets and Negroes and ordered both to be delivered to the set immediately. Preferably the same delivery man. The source adds, "She was a lot more agreeable (after the "chocolates" arrived). Marc now keeps a steady supply of Godiva chocolates close by for all his divas on the show. Chocolates and cock."

AND SAY HELLO TO OUR LATEST WRITER, POPEYE KATSOPOLIS. HE SAYS THE FOLLOWING PICTURE IS NOT HIM BUT WE'RE WAITING FOR DIRECT CONFIRMATION BEFORE WE GO MUCH FURTHER ON THIS ONE. CHECK OUT HIS FIRST REVIEW TODAY IN THE REVIEW SECTION.