Erospirit
Rating: TWO & A HALF "4 All The Wrong Reasons" BUSTED NUTS
If I open a store. And out amidst the displays, between the tuna, sliced ham and prosciutto, there's a dimpled salad bowl full of chocolate mousse carrying a cardboard card that says SHIT, who'd you imagine would order a bowl full? You know, just to see?
Yeah, you got it: ME. And youse too.
I'LL BE AT THE KNITTING FACTORY WITH ANDREA JUNO THROUGH THE END OF THE MONTH WITH A NEW SHOW CALLED SEMEN IN MY VAGINA, SEMEN IN MY MOUTH, GODDESS WILLING.
Which is how this found it's way into my hot little angry and larcenous hands. Back in 1985 big-tit Jew queen ANNIE SPRINKLE had just come off of a good few years as a pornstar face synonymous with LINDA LOVELACE and a few others as the suckstresses of the old Times Square [if you're under 35 check out Martin Scorcese's TAXI DRIVER to see what the fuck we mean]. She was young, be-titted and in an interview with yours truly enough of a class act to hook us up with KITTEN NATIVIDAD when we wanted a cover girl for the knob issue of the knob mag we put out then.
And then she became an "artist". Or even worse, an "artiste."
Then there were the shows where people could view vulva art, check out her uterus art and all the while time marched on and would-wanna-be's subjected themselves to her graying cooch art all in the name of old slut art so much so that by the time you get to her HERSTORY OF PORN you damned well know that it's not going to be chocolate mousse.
Nooo...it's going to be some lame-ass post-modernly ironic smirk at MY LOADS. Well my loads don't really appreciate being laughed at. My loads get their feelings hurt easily and were it not for some real jerk-worthy 8mm loop shit all 70s'd-out, I don't know that we'd able to forgive all of that insufferable bullshit PLUS the extra added dollop of tranny horror.
But 69 minutes?
It's alllllll math....I jerked off twice to this. Total elapsed time 8 minutes. Leaving 61 to mouth a crap encrusted spoon and say aloud, "it's a miracle what they can do with pudding these days." -- VINNIE ROSE
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