Colossal Entertainment

Rating: TWO "Skull! Skull!" BUSTED NUTS

Y'know how you'd go to parties as a teenager and there'd always be some prick who'd smell a wine cork and then start telling everyone how wasted they were? In the presumed and definitely mistaken belief that they'd seem cool? Didn't you fucking hate that dork?

Well, I think he grew up to BE this video. Despite the title, despite the pictures on the cover, despite the fact that you may be sipping on a fag cocktail like a mojito at this very moment....NONE of these hoes are drunk on cum.

NEXT UP...IN SEARCH OF: KURT LOCKWOOD'S ANAL VAPORS. STARRING HALEY PAIGE!!!

They each receive nominal spooge to the mouth. Spit it into a martini glass. Poke at it with their tongues. Turn up their noses. Err, is anything actually swallowed?

Only pride, alas, only pride.

Starring Czech BARBARA SUMMER as a chick whose eyes are as far apart as her fake boobs. American EVE LAWRENCE as a chick whose fake boobs are as big as the Czech Republic. HALEY PAIGE and Stefani-ish SAMANTHA RYAN as chicks with their tongues in KURT LOCKWOOD'S ass.

And TYLA WYNN. Whose Zeppelin-sized chin zit makes me sooooo thankful I didn't purchase that 43" TV last year. -- MR. XTRA

Buy It NOW!