Vivid

Rating: TWO "O, Christy. Christy. We Love You..." BUSTED NUTS

You know, it gets soooooo old, this raping of anything Vivid. Sure, their work is soulless Cosmopolitan mag porn for chicks and guys who hate to fuck. Sure, the chicks stumble and mumble through these things like they were in the goddamned Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. Sure, the plasticine ice queen JENNA JAMESON is as plasticine and icy as ever.

[IN TINNY, ROBOTIC VOICE] "CAN I SUCK YOUR CO-C-C-C-K?" SURE, HAL. SURE.

We KNOW that. So, fuck it. I'm going to try and judge this motherfucker on the basis of it's merits:

Merit #1: Jenna spends portions of this vid actually getting fucked. This may not be that erotic but it sure beats listening to her try to talk in English on Stern.

Merit #2: ROCCO SIFFREDI, as indecipherable as ever.

Merit #3: CHRISTY "GODDAMNED GRAND" CANYON. Man, oh, man...her big giant udders start swinging while she's bucking and fucking moaning and ENVELOPING sausage with the fatted calf of her pussy. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

CHRISTY...CHRISTY....WE HARDLY KNEW YE....

So, let's recap: what the fuck's deep, deep, deep inside of JENNA JAMESON? Other than shit? That's any good?

CHRISTY CANYON.

You might not think one fucker could make a whole fuck vid, but here you'd be wrong.

Oh, so, wrong. -- VINNIE ROSE

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