TO THE READERS OF SKULLGAME: Times of great tragedy require great sacrifice and this nation is nothing if not sacrificing and so we ask of each of you reading now...be you Baptist or Bahai...to reach down...DEEP down...and find it in your heart AND your wallet to give a donation...maybe $1...maybe $20...maybe $50...or just whatever you can afford...to help the writers of SkullGame help SkullGame writers get over the terribly trying and emotionally draining hurricane chatter. Your donation will help heal a nation, or a portion thereof, that's been bombarded by great tribulation to a jacuzzi, a teenage hooker and a healing medicament of your own choosing. So please...we're not asking for handout. We're just asking for a goddamned hand.
"GIVE GODDAMN YOU!!!" CO-SPONSORED BY ALTAR BOY: THE MAGAZINE FOR THE WAYWARD PRIEST. DONATIONS CAN BE SENT TO VINNIE ROSE, P.O. BOX 19271, STANFORD, CA, 94309
CIGAR SMOKING, BACKROOM DEALING SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE, REPUBLICAN DENNIS HASTERT TRIES TO OUT-SKULLGAME SKULLGAME WHEN HE SAYS TO NEW ORLEANS "GOBBLE MY NOBBY HOGLEG & MOVE THINE BLACK ASSES TO HIGHER GROUND". A NATION BITTERLY AMUSED.
"IT'S JUST GODDAMNED COMMON SENSE: YOU LIVE UNDERWATER YOU GONNA HAVE TROUBLE. BLOWING ME THAT IS."
WASHINGTON (SkullGame) -- It makes no goddamned sense to spend billions of dollars to rebuild a godforsaken city...unless it's in the desert and overrun with towelheaded neck-knifers...that's seven feet under sea level, House Speaker Dennis Hastert said of federal assistance for hurricane-devastated New Orleans.
"It looks like a lot of that place could be bulldozed," the Illinois Republican said in an interview about New Orleans Wednesday with the Daily Herald of Arlington Heights, Ill., while he laughed, counted his cash from recent oil windfalls, and concluded his covenant with the Lord of the Underworld.
Louisiana Rep. Charlie Melancon called the comments irresponsible and Sen. Mary L. Landrieu urged Hastert to focus on the humanitarian crisis at hand. Hastert, in a transcript supplied by the suburban Chicago newspaper, said there was no question that the people of New Orleans would rebuild their city, but noted that federal insurance and other federal aid was involved. "We ought to take a second look at it. But you know we build Los Angeles and San Francisco on top of earthquake fissures and they rebuild too. Stubbornness. Faggotry and stubbornness."
PORN DEATHS, DESPITE OUR INCIPIENT FEELINGS OF GUILT, ONCE AGAIN LET US LAUGH, EXPLICITLY, AT THAT WHICH IS NOT FUNNY, IMPLICITLY: PAUL SHUSTAK'S BROTHER ALAN SHUSTAK FROM REDBOARD VIDEO DEAD FROM HEART ATTACK, WHILST BRITNEY MADISON DEAD IN CAR CRASH. LET THE HILARITY BEGIN!!!
LAS VEGAS (SkullGame) -- Adult Film Star of films like THROAT YOGURT, BRITNEY MADISON passed away May 2nd in Las Vegas as a result of an automobile accident. Wait a minute?!?!? MAY 2ND?!?!? Brad Fitzgerald, webmaster for BritneyMadison.Com, sent out the sad news August 16 and stated “Unfortunately, I was not made aware of this until tonight,” he said, “but Stacey Pfeiffer (A.K.A. Britney Madison), who was the very spirit of reliability when it came to not be disappearing for days at a time and shit was killed in a car accident along with another friend of hers."
BRITNEY IN HAPPIER, LOAD-FILLED TIMES. SHE WILL BE MISSED. BY NEGROES EVERYWHERE.
“I felt it was important to let everyone know what had happened, as she had worked with so many people in the industry and has a tremendous fan base. On a personal note, she was a beautiful person, always a joy to work with, and our thoughts are with her family and friends.”
Madison’s credits include SODOMY, SHITTY SHITTY GANG BANG, and BLOW ME SANDWICH.
IN A RELATED NEWS STORY: ALAN SHUSTAK DEAD
FROM A GODDAMNED HEART ATTACK AT THE AGE OF 56. YOU DO NOT KILL A MAN LIKE MOE GREEN, I MEAN ALAN SHUSTAK, WITH A HEART ATTACK AT AGE 56. HIS STAGE NAME "DUCK DUMONT" IS BEING RETIRED. OUR THOUGHTS GO OUT TO HIS FAMILY.
DIVORCE: AMERICAN STYLE.
KATHLEEN TURNER, THE BLUSHING BRIDE BITCH
NEW YORK (SkullGame) -- Once upon a time there was an actress named KATHLEEN TURNER. She appeared in movies wherein lots of ass reamage with nightstick dildoes occurred. She did interviews and talked about sucking men off for money. She was what you might call the TOAST of the TOWN.
Well, even toast gets old, cold and crusty eventually and now-veteran and we don't mean like she fought in a war or nothin', actress Kathleen Turner reportedly is splitting from wily Jew tycoon husband Jay Weiss.
The actress first met the real-estate mogul when she rented one of his New York apartments, and they married in 1983. Approximately when the photo above was taken.
KATHLEEN TURNER, THE DIVORCING DOXY
They have one daughter, Rachel Ann, 17. And while Turner's spokesperson declines to comment, the rest of the world just nods knowingly and goes about its business.
ROBERT DOWNEY JR. MADDER THAN A CRACKHEAD WITHOUT NO CRACK OVER BARKIN SLIGHT
"HAHAHAHAHA....HOOOOOO WOOOOOO!!!!....WOAH..."
NEW YORK (SkullGame) -- ROBERT DOWNEY JR. claims he moved his wedding from the New York estate of crafty billionaires Ron Perlman and ELLEN BARKIN at the last minute because the couple gave him "somewhat less" than their best wishes.
The star and producer Susan Levin were due to exchange nuptials at the billionaire couple's sprawling estate in the Hamptons on Saturday, but switched venues at the last minute, leading people to believe it was because the location had been exposed to the media.
While later reports suggested the move occurred because Perlman didn't want to release photographs of his estate, Downey insists the switch -- along with Perlman and Barkin's absence -- was rooted in something else.
He tells the TV show "Extra!," "Well Ellen had recently stated that she'd been dreaming of no longer living like a billionaire and thought she'd downsize a bit and maybe live like the average folk live. Like the Trumps, perhaps. Or even the Rockefellers. And I guess we just didn't fit into her new schema being only millionaires and not quite multi-millionaires yet. Whatever. I was going to get pissed off until I remembered I'd just spent the last 4 hours talking to a geranium out by the woodpile. Thanks for coming. AMERICA!!!"
