Gentlemens Video

Rating: FIVE "5+5=Enough Nut Busted For 2 Motherfucking Nut Busters" BUSTED NUTS

I LOVED her. CHRISTY CANYON. So much so that when I was watching HOLLY DOES HOLLYWOOD and an ex of mine at the time started crying like it was fucking BAMBI or something I think I said "I'll pause it while you get your shit and get the fuck out."

JESUS H. CHRIST ON A CRUTCH. CHRISTY...LOVELY, LOVELY CHRISTY....

And what was she crying about?

Christy in a triple team scene with a RON JEREMY who was only 50 pounds overweight then and he was wise-cracking about lacing her face with loads and he was cracking up the other dudes and it was like this whole circle jerk of Dudetry and it was clear that Christy wasn't digging it and the dudes were not digging her but were knee-deep in some half-assed male-ass bonding and the woman, in this case Christy, was just so much jiz rag.

Hence, my ex's tears, and hence my invite out.

But it wasn't that she was more sensitive than me, it's just that Christy's golden globes had me absolutely transfixed and if you haven't seen her well you just don't know. I mean you have NO FUCKING IDEA....when she's been boned by The Young TOM BYRON, looking like fucking ED NORTON here, or getting drilled by PETER NORTH and her huge knobs are bobbing around like there are fucking Mexicans living in them and man, oh manisciewitz, you just want to die. Like Dead. Like suicide bombs strapped to your crank blowing loads all the way into Baghdad dead.

Beautiful. Total proof of the existence of a cruel God. Because while Christy lived out her Jeremyesque circle jerkus maximus with its typical coconut creme crescendo, her actual active career screeched to a halt at Vivid and if that wasn't enough, an industry biased toward youth having its say turned its back and as far as we know she's off somewhere NOT fucking for the cameras anymore and this is a goddamned shame. A motherfucking goddamned shame. For which there is no justice, save this motherfucking vid. -- VINNIE ROSE

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