Evil Angel

Rating: FOUR "With The Lid Off" BUSTED NUTS

So we have ARIEL SUMMERS, running cock like it's going to cure Parkinson's, playing the empathetic role of method actor and philanthropist --shaking and mumbling, stumbling and fumbling like MICHAEL J. FOX at a stilt convention. All is good in the world -- someone just adopted a kitten; somewhere first "I love yous" are being exchanged; something just went well for someone down on their luck. Sun is shining, birds are chirping, children are frolicking happily in neighborhood parks...

CONSIDER IT CRACKED. ARIEL SUMMERS PRE-PISS.

"Thanks a lot for that", she exclaims. We welcome her -- grab her a towel and a glass of water. We notice she's pissing uncontrollably and grabbing schlong as if it were a lifejacket and the toilet was swelling. TOM WAITS croons about the world being green in the back of our ears and we believe him for just one second.

Surely that slip in time is worth $19.99 -- it's cheaper than rock and you don't have to trade it for a blowjob. It's self-perpetuating like that -- and that is beautiful, lovely, and a bunch of other adjectives.

The rest of this disc isn't too shabby either -- it's standard fare; more chicks than dicks (which is always a plus though some production studios don't recognize such) -- quality talent (the SAANA/SAMANTHA RYAN and MELISSA LAUREN/ROXETTE tag teams are particularly notable): Loads on chins, loads on tits, loads on loads -- just as we demand it.

Could it be that the bastards are finally listening to us?

And if so, what's our next excuse for reckless insensitivity and pugilism? Incorrigible violent episodes? Who is going to bail us out when we stop attacking out of a sense of fulfilling justice and turn on our own out of mere habit and necessity?

Fuck. -- JUDGE ROY BEAN

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