"VINNIE? YOU WAS GONE THIS PAST WEEK. WHY, VINNIE, WHY?"
MOSTLY ON ACCOUNT OF FILMING YOZA AT WINE MAKING CLASS SHOWN HERE "MAKING" "WINE".
Especially if by "wine" you mean seven days for work release. On a variety of charges. Speaking of which....
INVETERATE MANIPULATOR OF SAUSAGE, JENNA BUSH, SIMULATING GETTING FUCKED LIKE AN ANIMAL FOR THE AMUSEMENT OF ONLOOKERS AND PASSERSBY, FILMED DOING SO
WOO HOO!!!!! NEXT STOP? "SIMULATED" ASS FUCKING!!!
NEW YORK (SkullGame) -- America's First Daughter, Walking-Talking Analog For Hypocrisy, Presidential Party Girl and cock puncher JENNA BUSH is at the center of a new Internet scandal after she was caught "dirty dancing" in a New York nightclub known mostly for "it's Jew-sponsored acts of public indecency," according to a member of the Bush White House.
The socialite, who has been criticized for her partying, boozing, and indiscriminate dick dodging ways, was celebrating a friend's bachelor party at hip club Nerveana when a sneaky cameraman captured footage of Bush entertaining the encircled men screaming "ass to ass!" while down on all fours, a posture highly familiar to this family, showing off her thong as dancers looked on in shock and disbelief.
The unnamed snapper is now selling his footage to the highest bidders, and hopes to have the film in cyberspace by the weekend. Watch this space for more Presidential slut news.
RAYMOND JUSTIN JONES, JR. THE 3RD OFFERS ANOTHER RECIPE FOR SUCCESS
MIX THREE PARTS FANCY GERMAN LIQEUR AND LET STEEP...UNTIL POLICE SHOW UP
NORTH CAROLINA (SkullGame) -- As many of you know, or at least those of you who read the page, I been having some trouble. What with wrecking my truck and all. And while I appreciate your cards and emails of concern I am much more impressed by your cries of "but HOW'D you do it Raymond J. Justin Jones, Jr. the 3rd? How'd you do it??!?!
Here's the fuck how:
Raymond J's Guide to Wrecking Your Goddamned Truck
Hey Kids! I know a lot of you have been asking yourselves lately. "How can I be a complete self-destructive, mentally damaged fuckup like my fucking idol Justin goddamn Jones?" Good news!, it's a lot easier than you think.
There are many ways to get there; you can listen to unhealthy negative music like Oxbow and Eyehategod. You could drink a lot of beer and snort a lot of coke. You could alienate your family, and every female who tries to be more than a cum receptacle. The list goes on and on, but a good way to start is by getting really fucking trashed and totalling your kick-ass Chevy Silverado.
Here's a few things you need to get a jumpstart on the competition:
1.A truck.
2.Beer.
3.A friend named Kaiser, who is the most punk rock motherfucker you have ever met. You know those, "What the fuck did I do last night?" mornings and afternoons? Well this cat has years like that.
4.One of those redneck bars where the girl with no teeth actually comes in second place at the wet t-shirt contest.
5.Jaeger
6.A big girl with huge tits who has this uncanny knack for calling you when you're drunk and craving some chubby love.
7.A fucking guardrail.
It's really that simple! What are you waiting for?
TIGER WOODS' TAMES HIS TITTY PROBLEM FOR A WIN AT THE MASTERS. OR WHATEVER.
THE TITS THAT HAD SO PREVIOUSLY BEDEVILED HIS GAME
AUGUSTA (SkullGame) -- TIGER WOODS knew all about conquering Sunday at the Masters with its thick tension and spine-tingling roars and history-making putts, as he had overcome his crippling dependency on TITS. Woods had lived out this tit-conquering scene before, walking around the famous back nine and slipping his arms around anything globular and moving, while attendant Zoellerites wonder what to do about the Nigra in the green jacket who won't park no cars nor eat fried chicken.
OH YEAH YEAH. WE WON'T BE FOOLED. AGAIN. SHOW US YOUR FUCKING TITS!!!
So this latest Sunday at the Masters seemed askew the first time Woods and Chris DiMarco reached the panoramic stage of the 18th green at Augusta National. There went DiMarco, dropping a clutch putt and animatedly pumping his fist. There went Woods, failing to seal the deal, as he dreamily traced tits in the air with his hands.
"It's pretty cool to have four titles before age 30, to do something nobody has ever done," Woods said. "You ever notice how you can't spell TITLE withOUT the word 'TIT'. HEY?!!? Who said tit?!?!"
