Red Light District

Rating: TWO "The Special Effects Were Good, But The Plot Was Hard To Swallow" BUSTED NUTS

This movie is the harrowing tale of a universe in turmoil. One small planet (I forget the name), struggles to defend itself against a super-evolved race of humanoids called the Deadmongers (or something), hell-bent on destroying the universe.

Things get extra-extra harrowing when they are forced to call on a Furion named Roger (or something) played by Van Morrison (or something)...

LOOK IN THE DICTIONARY UNDER PARTY? YUP. AND THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT THE FUCK YOU WILL SEE.

Oh wait, I'm sorry! That's actually the plot to "The Chronicles of Roger (or something)." My bad. I sometimes get my boring, pointless movies confused! But, sure, I jerked off once or twice to THIS movie, but is that saying much? Is it?!?! Is it?!?! I mean I once jerked off five times to a Britney Spears video. So, that may not be saying THAT much.

Hey guys, here's a tip: OUR UNQUENCHABLE THIRST FOR DP WAS WELL-FUCKING QUENCHED AFTER THE SEVENTH OR EIGHTH TIME (NINTH MAYBE)!!!

WHAT'S NEXT?

"Umm, Let's see if we can fuck her earhole, that's what the people want."

I don't mean to be so cruel. I know a lot of work went into getting a lot of cocks into a lot of asses and a lot of quims and I'm sure this flick appeals to a select group of individuals somewhere... "The DP squad represent!!!!!"

But unless you're a card carrying member, stick to Britney Spears. -- RAYMOND J. JUSTIN JONES, JR.

Buy It NOW!