Yes. We've been getting your letters and cards. And all of their tender entreaties but...well, but how could we answer when the real answer was too terrible to believe: VINNIE ROSE had suffered a nervous breakdown.
RELAX. RELAX!!!! GODDAMNIT!!!!
We should have known. When he told us his physician Dr. Tony (mannequin pictured above) had suggested that to put things in perspective that he take a few days off to Mexico (which we now believe he believes is what the rest of us call Chinatown), a fantastic meal (a sandwich) and a few weeks of rest and relaxation (chronic masturbation), well we has no choice but to prevent him from doing harm to himself or others and just stop him. I mean me. I mean him. In any case, thank you all for your kind consideration, motherfuckers!!!! I PISS ON YOU. AND EAT EGGS. AND WONDER WHY CHICKENS HAVE SUCH BAD ATTITUDES. AGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!
SUPERMODEL KATE MOSS MOUTHS JUNKIE MUGGLE!!!
KATE MOSS & PETE DOHERTY YOU KNOW, WORKING THINGS OUT.
LONDON (SkullGame) -- Troubled, drunk, and drug-addled Irish stereotype PETE DOHERTY and "Super""Model" KATE MOSS have demonstrated their fumbling and fleeting love for each other -- by getting tattoos of their initials inside hearts. ON THEIR FACES.
The ex-Libertines frontman started dating the catwalk beauty at her 31st birthday party earlier this month. Especially if by "dating" you mean "falling asleep with your cock slathered by a mouthful of her narcotic drool."
And he's so smitten with Moss, he's even vowed to quit the crack cocaine and heroin addictions that have plagued his music career.
Hahahahahahahahahaha.
He tells ITV's Orange Playlist in a burst of bungled synapse, "It's been the best few hours in a long time because I've really found love with Kate. This afternoon. At 2:45. Right after I got up. I think it will last. She's good for me because she's got a beautiful soul. And lots of cash. And I think I can trust her. To use her cash for, um, groceries. And I think I can be trusted and she can trust me. To not use her cash for anything other than, um, groceries. I believe her when she says she loves me and loves that I know where to get the best, um, groceries. And I know I mean it when I say I love her. Cash. And groceries. We got each other's initials tattooed in little hearts. I have a K, for Cash, in a heart. And I'm kicking drugs for her too. Well, just the ones that she doesn't do.
Like aspirin."
OLD BROAD FIGHTS THE RAVAGES OF TIME WITH COCK SUCKING PICS
I'M NO COCK SUCKER!!! A SPERMDRINKER, WHY, YES!!! BUT A COCK SUCKER? NOOOO.....
HOLLYWOOD (SkullGame) -- "Desperate Housewives" star NICOLETTE SHERIDAN is "reeling" because a former friend, known to us as BOB VERMILION, is selling what he claims are beautiful, artistic, classy photographs of the blonde actress with a jumbo between her lips.
The New York Post reports an ex-pal of the 41-year-old star, who plays divorcee Edie Britt in the hit ABC show, is offering the images to the highest bidder with bidding starting at an offer of "take them away, aggghhhh....take them away!!!!"
The unnamed man named MARSH MC COLL says, "I think they are beautiful pictures of beautiful cocksucking by a beautiful plastic surgery disaster and they should be seen by people willing to pay me oodles of cash. Or who, at the very least, will just take them away."
Despite the former friend's sales strategy, Playboy has turned down the chance to publish the photos, but Hustler magazine is reported to be interested.
STEVE HOLMES PORN STAR: SAYS HE'S NOT GAY. BUT HE HAS NO PROBLEM RUBBING HIS ROD AGAINST HIS FRIEND'S ROD.
OUR COMPUTER CURIOUSLY WOULD NOT LET US DOWNLOAD NO PICS OF STEVE. BUT SINCE HE'S GERMAN WE JUST RAN THIS PIC OF AXEL BRAUN & CALLED IT A COCK RUBBING DAY
COCKRUBBINGTONIA (SkullGame) -- STEVE HOLMES is great. Even though we kid him because we're goddamned kidders, he's great. Looks like an accountant, fucks like a Banshee, speaks three different languages and had the balls to chat with us despite our well-established record for abusing talent. And even lack of talent. In any case here he is, ladies (yeah, whatever) and gentleman (Me), STEVE HOLMES, manlover.
SkullGame: Porn, like rap, seems very aware that if it doesn't change it will die...what are some of the changes you see that you think will last longer than others?
Steve Holmes: I don't have a strategy about the future of porn. I just shoot what I enjoy and hope people will like it.
SG: Yeah, yeah, sure, but has gonzo seen better days?
SH: I can't speak for the market in general but we sell more than ever and we are still growing.
JUSSSSST KIDDING...HERE'S THAT GOOSE-STEPPING MOTHERFUCKER WITH HOT BITCH KATSUMI. WHO, FOR OUR EDIFICATION, HE LATER FUCKED THE SHIT OUT OF. NICE TO SEE THE AXIS POWERS STICKING TOGETHER.
SG: Is double anal as gay as it fucking seems? Do you have homo-panic pills you take to get over the prevailing sensation that you're having hot, gay cock-to-cock action?
SH: I personally have no problems to touch another guy and I wouldn't consider double anal as gay. I know other people see it different.
SG: OK. Who is doing shit now that you like in porn? Who is not GAY, and why?
SH: I don't know. I haven't seen any porn in quite a while. I do scenes almost every day. When I come home from a set I'm not in the mood of watching porn.
SG: Just settle down with the little lady to a quiet night of talking about how many other broads you boned during the day?
SH: Well, I talked about it with my wife before I started and got her permission. I wouldn't have risk my marriage by doing porn. She is fine about it.
SG: Man. We'd like to meet your wife. And fuck her. But that's besides the point. And so lastly from one STEELY ROB: "Ask him how he manages to keep his sanity while doing so much work with Michael Stefano, John Strong and Erik Everhard."
SH: Are you sure that I'm sane? We are good friends, fuck a lot of girls together and hang out after work.
