This edition of SkullGame is being brought to you courtesy of CIRCUS VENTRILIQUIST: THE CIRCUS OF DUMMIES. Equal parts CIRQUE DU SOLEIL and PICKLE FAMILY CIRCUS, this is a show NOT to be missed.

LADIES & GENTLEMEN, ONANISTS OF ALL AGES...

GAY NEGRO HUGS WHITE WOMAN ON MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL; A NATION AGHAST. NEGRO CLAIMS INNOCENCE. IS NATURALLY NOT BELIEVED

SLATTERN NICOLETTE SHERIDAN LURES ANOTHER GAY MAN TO HER BED. DESTINATION: HETEROSEXUALITY

PHILADELPHIA (SkullGame) -- The FCC on Nov. 17, 2004 reviewed complaints about ABC's steamy 'Desperate Housewives' promotion before 'Monday Night Football' and while the agency's Uncle Ben-esque chairman MICHAEL POWELL expressed disappointment, it was not clear whether the government would tackle the network for "showing a Nigra and a non-Nigra woman" locked in sweaty "look how gay I'm NOT" embrace. ABC acknowledged receiving numerous viewer complaints for the segment that featured 'Housewives' star NICOLETTE SHERIDAN, shown in a recent episode of the show, making a pass at Philadelphia Eagles' Nigra TERRELL OWENS in a locker room.

"SEE?!?! SEE?!! HERE I AM WITH MY FLUID-BONDED PARTNER IN LIFE. AND YOU CAN TELL AS WELL AS I CAN THAT HE'S NO KIND OF A WHITE WOMAN."

When reached for comment Owens, who was last seen ferreting out any and all extant members of The Men's Friendship Society in National Faggot League locker rooms all over America, said "Did you tell [male friend] TWAN, yet? Oh, lawdy Miss Claudie. I gotta go, honey chile. He's gonna be sooooo mad..."

SKULLGAME SPONSORED FIGHTER GILBERT MELENDEZ, ALSO NOT GAY, WHIPS THE FUCK OUT OF HAWAIIAN; HAWAII TOO HIGH TO NOTICE

MELENDEZ (RIGHT) ABOUT TO KICK THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF THE HAWAIIAN. THE SECRET OF HIS SUCCESS? SKULLGAME. AND MASTURBATION.

HONOLULU (SkullGame) -- The first fight of the esteemed Rumble on the Rock mixed martial arts fighting championship saw Hawaii's own Kaynan "The Barbarian" Kaku, who fights with BJ Penn's team, step in against SkullGame-sponsored fighter GILBERT MELENDEZ of California in an under 155 lb (70kg) matchup.

From the bell, Melendez again got in, moved to a side mount and connected with more than a few knees to Kaku's head. For most of the round, Mendez was able to press Kaku against the cage and rain punches down as his opponent appeared less and less able to defend. After attempting to twist away in vain late in the round, Kaku ate a dozen hard rights before the referee stepped in to stop the fight.

Melendez credits his win to "superior training, diet, skill, technique and all of the great pornos that SKULLGAME gives me."

DUCK SEASON. RABBIT SEASON. ELMER SEASON?

FUCK IT. IT'D BE A SHAME TO LET THE MEAT GO TO WASTE. MAN. WE LOVE THIS SPORT!

WISCONSIN (SkullGame) -- A dispute among deer hunters over a tree stand in northwestern Wisconsin erupted Sunday in a series of shootings that left five people dead and three injured, officials said. The alleged gunman, a man from the Twin Cities area, was arrested Sunday afternoon, according to officials.

The violence began shortly after a hunting party saw a hunter occupying their tree stand, Deputy Tim Zeigle told SkullGame. A confrontation and shooting followed. One of the shooting victims radioed back to the deer shack for help, he said. When more hunters came to the scene, they also were shot, Zeigle said. Wisconsin's deer gun hunting season started Saturday and lasts for nine days.

Bill Wagner, 72, of Oshkosh, was about two miles away near Deer Lake with a party of about 20 other hunters. "When you're hunting you don't expect somebody to try to shoot you and murder you," he said. "But we're all old, dyed-in-wool hunters," he said. "We wouldn't go home because of this but we will keep it in our minds, shooting the next motherfucker we see that we ain't know whose got a gun."