Shooting Star

Rating: THREE "The Best Laid Plans, And Broads, Often Fall Asunder" BUSTED NUTS

I was purposefully looking for something to hate. One of those moods where your leg is tired from kicking the dog. You cut everybody off you could possibly cut off in traffic. You call one of your ho's and punctuate every sentence with "what's that supposed to mean?"

You know: asshole time.

So's I grab SWING SHIFT #1 because it reminds me of that TOM HANKS movie with MICHAEL KEATON of the same name. Which turned into the TV show I hated named BOSOM BUDDIES. Which featured a lot of dudes wearing dresses. And I figure if this is half as bad as that why then I'd be in Asshole Heaven. Dudes. Dresses. Bad jokes and no one getting laid including the mooks watching it.

LISA SPARXXX & THE CRIMINALLY UNDERUSED ORIFICE THAT IS HER MOUTH

Only this ain't that. THIS is LISA SPARXXX. Jesus. Checking shit off of my dance card: She's got an overbite. She's slightly overweight. Yes. Sometimes I like that. Not morbidly fucking obese. Not even plump. Just carrying an extra 10. And she displays a marked penchant for a basketball team of black cock. Which means this fucking roly poly gets all rolled and poled by foot long summer sausages again and again.

Do I like the vast preponderance of dudes? DONALD RUMSFELD says no. In fact in any gangbang the rule is there should not be more men present then there are holes. Unless he's holding the camera. Otherwise it's just gay. And this has that. But it also has LISA SPARXXX looking for all the world like a nice suburban housewife getting plowed by the gardeners. Because she can, baby. Because she can. -- VINNIE ROSE

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