Evil Angel

Rating: FOUR "My Dick Is Suckin' Air" BUSTED NUTS

I had a box of pornos under the bed that I have been meaning to look at and review, but I haven't got around to it cuz the surf is been up with the swells from the Tsunami and all that, but I heard that Vinnie cuts guy's toes off and shit so I thought I better get my ass in gear.

ANGEL DARK. NEITHER AN ANGEL, NOR VERY DARK. BUT AN AMAZINGLY ACTIVE PIECE OF ASS. GO FIGURE.

CRACK HER JACK #3--that's a fuckin' dope name, if by dope you mean it sounds like a snack food you eat when on dope, but anyway, I grabbed it cuz it was on the top.  Ok, there's some chick stripping and some lame POV nip-twiddling.  I'm bored by this skeeze already so I decide to make myself, uh, less critical. 

BUT FUCK!  All my dope is gone! 

The baggie of homegrown, the block of hash, three or four bindles of shitty meth-stomped whiffy, a little chunk of tar, odds and ends of this and that, ALL FUCKING GONE!! You might think that isn't a big deal, but then you'd be a fucking dick.  I can't watch this fucking self-referential bullshit paean to Onan without SOMETHING evening things out! 

Sooo, I tip the whole drawer up over my frisbee and a bunch of little powdery shit sprinkles out, with weird little chunks and maybe some dope seeds from when I was in Jr. College and some flakes of co-Kine, and I roll it up in a big dubba-wide and smoke it. It tasted like rat ass, but man, after about four tokes I was already adjusting well to my new higher state. I felt my IQ go up. Like 20 points.

Back at the console, some foxy blonde cheerleader was getting worked up the drain-pipe by a guy who was alternating that and getting the butt-spew licked off by the tittie twiddler that was yawning me so bad at the start. She has a cute ass, though, but these two chicks definitely need to learn to yank the laundry when the workout starts--if I wanted to look at some chick's bra I'd snake one of Gordo's Stick-torias Sneakret catalogs outta the john. 

Anyway, I start whackin' at it and blow, and then I blow again when this chick SIMONY (fuck these people are fuckin dumb-even I know it's SIMONE and pronounced See-Moan, like a french dude talking about spooge) and she is so hot getting ass-slammed that I shoot again.

I got a little disorganized at that point on account of the drugs and all, and there was spit and spooge and a little blood from somewhere all over the place.  I started hallucinating that maybe I shit myself when I spewed the last time, so I got up to look on the papasan chair and when I looked back at  the TV there was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen--ANGEL DARK, fuck I'd like to know her real name, but I'm sure that would just lead to another restraining order and my proboff will be pissed.

Anyways there was a scene with her and this other blond coed-looking babe, and every time the dude did Angel his cock would get harder than 8th grade math, but when he went back to the other chick it kinda limped along.  Angel takes it up the ass like a seal jumping into the water: a slip and a splash, and in it goes!  That chick has got some special manna, it even came through the TV. I spurted again, but nothing came out.  In fact, I was a little worried because it sounded like there was actually some air SUCKED BACK IN--but then Skelly told me that was fuckin' impossible, so I chilled.

I'm holding on to this one, for sure! -- YOZA

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