Red Light District

Rating: THREE & A HALF "For The Girls, The Concept Can Go Fuck Itself" BUSTED NUTS

If any of my friends in the SkullGame collective are interested, I now have the results of a recent poll. You will remember that I did extensive market research with the aid of an independent scrutineer, examining what sort of visual cues/stimuli were most desireable when it comes to porn. And the results are in!

You said you wanted:

- more older, overtly sunbed-friendly women with whatever surgery they had done with such discretion and so expertly as to be non-detectable. No one who looks like they were born past 1975. Think Seka.

- minimal to no emphasis on teenage girls who we know simply prioritize sports over sex.

So how'd this slip through the net?

Well, I'm not parochial or biased when it comes to the bounds of the erotic. Lord knows we live in a world where an artistic vision knows no bounds...and with the advent of the digital age and the internet, things are just getting BETTER & BETTER. Increasingly, I marvel at how art triumphs over profit and how, despite the lure of an easy turnaround, the art of pure arousal is not diluted by the quest to make a living in a healthily competitive market.

WHAT MISSY DOESN'T KNOW IS THAT WE'VE SWITCHED HER FOLGER'S WITH BLACK COCK THAT WILL, NO MATTER HOW HARD SHE TRIES, YIELD ANY OTHER FLAVORED CUM THAN THE USUAL

So now...on greasily fumbling with the cover of this release you will no doubt be enchanted by PAIGE. There she is: young, impossibly fresh, cute but (ah ha!) on the back of the cover there she is flanked by large cocks! Boy, did someone turn up the heat in this room or is it just me? PHEW! How could one so foxy and wholesome allow herself to be thus defiled?

Ooooh, such a delectable schism.

Yet in her scene I think the direction was definitely "go easy" as it has a sort of somnambulism about it... she's distracted, there's muffled, apologetic grunts every now again but the ambience is pretty uncertain and tentative. Hell, I felt sorry for looking...could someone tell me if she's ok, not traumatized?

Fuck, just go for MISSY. She's a firm favorite and is about as much of a teenager as FRED DURST is... totally lithe, dismissive and within a deceptively pleasant blonde exterior undoubtedly beats a heart pumping liquid nitrogen and really missed what should've been a her proper career: taking over from Mantas when he left Venom. I bet she doesn't even have a website, being so rock 'n roll. Please tell me she doesn't. Her quote of the show? "FUCK, it's big." "That's the biggest dick you've ever had?" "Oh fuck yeah."

Yeah right. "Before lunch" she meant. The biggest dick she had. Before. Lunch. She's the Emerson Lake & Palmer of having dicks up her ass, sure she's really flinching. She, like most girls in a similar situation, is thinking of something else not involving sex, dicks, arousal, porn or men. The dick up her ass is abstract.

Or try MELISSA LAUREN. In appropriate teen vernacular I'd say she "rocks". But what an insult-like all present day teen culture-that would be. She is just simply great-looking. I'm almost tempted to say that I'd love to date her. But, as I live in England, where would such a date occur? The pub? I may as well take her to a bus shelter in Moss-fucking-Side in Manchester...a pity as I quite like Moss Side.

Anyway, why the fuck do you want to know? They only like gay sports in England anyway, fucking horrible myth-riddled place. -- WERNER ASSBENDER

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