Platinum X Pictures

Rating: TWO & A HALF "Das Ist Gut, Senor" BUSTED NUTS

Looks like the U.S. border patrol is working hard, and getting results. The success is clearly measured by the desperation of porn producers who are trying to satisfy the market for Latina-oriented movies. Apparently, times are lean.

BRAZILIAN RIO MARIAH & HER COCONUTS. MINUS THE OBLIGATORY COCONUT OIL

Such is the case in SEAN MICHAELS’ HOT ASS LATINAS #2, which features some women of questionable Latin origin. Shit, we got one who speaks German to her “papi,” and one who introduces her scene as being in “hot ass LatinOs.”

The cast of HOT ASS LATINAS #2 is like the wait staff at most Japanese restaurants. The women are all Asian, but most are not Japanese. But they make ‘em say Japanesey shit to fool the customers, who’ll believe anything. Ditto here. Make the chicks say “si” and “papi” a bunch, and voila! Latinas.

Who says there’s no acting required in today’s lucrative porn world?

And what flavor is ROXY JEZEL this week? Up until last week, she was an Asian, and we’ve got stacks of videos to prove it. Whatever, we’re always happy to see more of this half-British, half-Asian fucking stalwart. Same goes for melt-in-your mouth JAZMIN, who showed up last week in a FRESH NEW FACES video.

We’d be equally happy to see less of RIO MARIAH, however. While she IS a real Latina, she’s got a look like The Mummy’s Bride, and you can be sure that her boobs will last her long into the afterlife.

What’s the word for “meh...” in Spanish? -- STEELY ROB

Buy it NOW!