And despite our bestest of efforts New Year's Eve was spent, predictably, proving that once again while we might fashion ourselves lovers we are, in actual fact, most clearly OVER-represented in the Fighter column.

HIS OFFENSE? SAYING 'WAZZUP BRO?' HIS PUNISHMENT? THE BEATING, THE RIDICULE & THE PERPETUAL NATURE OF BOTH. NOTE: VINNIE (UPPER LEFT) & HIS EXPRESSION OF AGGRIEVED INCREDULITY AS ASSBENDER MAKES A POINT WORTH BEING MADE

"FAT SLUT WITH $88 MILLION ANNA NICOLE SMITH, ONCE AGAIN, JUST A FAT SLUT," DECLARES $88 MILLIONAIRE

A SKULLGAME PHOTO-INVESTIGATION OF THE MURDER OF J. HOWARD MARSHALL: WAS HE KILLED WITNESSING HIS WIFE'S SLUTTERY? BECAUSE HE WITNESSED SAID SLUT WIFE'S SAID SLUTTERY? OR WAS IT THE FIRST SITE OF HER FULLY UNCLOTHED, PENDULOUS MAMS?

DALLAS (SkullGame) -- Busty, and now largely broke (and we do mean largely), ANNA NICOLE SMITH's new year will start off on a sour, and significantly poorer, note -- a U.S. Federal Court of Appeals has overturned a previous federal court decision to award her over $88 million in her late husband J. Howard Marshall's will, a will that's been held up as Marshall's family fought the decision. Instead, a Texas court has ruled the cash will go to Marshall's son, according to showbiz news program "Entertainment Tonight."

NONE OF THE ABOVE, SKULLGAME. T'WAS HER FUCKING DEEP-FAT FRIED BANANA SPLITS THAT KILLED ME!!!

Smith will now have to take the case to Justice CLARENCE "I LOVES ME SOME WHITE WOMEN" THOMAS and the U.S.'s Supreme Court if she still wants the money, which it seems is imminently within reach of her and a sloppily delivered in-chamber suckjob.

The model married 89-year-old Marshall in 1994. He died less than one year, and approximately half of one sex act, later.

TALES FROM THE PIPE: SKULLGAME'S MECHANIC-IN-RESIDENCE JIMMY THE G DISHES ON RUMOR, HEARSAY & INNUENDO GATHERED FROM CAT-NAPPING CREEPER SIDE UNDER WESLEY SNIPE'S RIDE

WESLEY HANGING OUT WITH CRACKHEADS?!!? NAHHHHHHH....

NEW YORK (SkullGame) -- Action film star WESLEY SNIPES sued New York City Monday, charging that it had no jurisdiction to seek his DNA in a paternity suit filed in Indiana by a woman he said was crack-addicted and mentally ill.

The federal suit seeks to nullify a March arrest warrant filed against the 42 year-old star of the "Blade" trilogy by a New York family court judge, who also is named in the suit, and to prevent Indiana prosecutors from continuing to seek the actor's DNA.

The arrest warrant stems from a paternity suit filed in 2002 by a 33-year-old woman who claims that she had sex with Snipes in a Chicago crackhouse and that he fathered her 3-year-old son. Snipes' lawyer, Robert Bernhoft, said his client lives in Orlando, Fla., so New York City had no jurisdiction to file the warrant.

Snipes said in his suit that he never fucked the woman, and claimed she was a "lousy tooth-draggin' 'ho" who had made wild claims in the past involving celebrities such as Prince, the artist formerly known as the artist formerly known as Prince, Oprah "pass the Chore Boy" Winfrey, and former President Bill "Is? Is!" Clinton.

Bernhoft accused LaPorte County, Ind., prosecutors, who also are named in the suit, of pursuing the "cracktastical" claims of an "obviously cumstruck" woman because his client was "an important black male celebrity, and not an important black robot, no matter what the plaintiff, or the movie going public allege."

Snipes has appeared in blockbuster films such as "Passenger 57," "White Hoes Can't Fuck Me" and "." His latest, "Blade: Trinity," was one of the weekend's biggest hits among crack whores, and has taken in $35.6 million in two weeks.

IN A DEEP, DEEP, DEEP STATE OF DENIAL, VANESSA WILLIAMS SAYS HER MARRIAGE IS "A-OK, BUDDY BOY." MEN NAMED "BUDDY BOY" AIN'T SO SURE

HERE SHE COMES, MISS AMERICA!!! FULL OF CHARM, GRACE & JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING EXCEPTING RICK FOX'S SPOOGE

LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- Singer, Miss America, and former green-eyed porn slut VANESSA WILLIAMS has left fans scratching their heads after insisting she's still married to friend of SkullGame and former basketball superstar RICK FOX. Fox TOLD reporters the couple had split in November, but Williams shocked Los Angeles DJ Tom Joyner Thursday by insisting she's not heading for divorce.

She told the radio presenter, "I'm still, um, technically married, you know. I know that. You know that. And even Rick's 23-year-old yoga slut knows that. You cannot believe everything you read. Or he tells you. Or that you see with your own eyes. I am still very, very proud to be Mrs. Rick Fox. Even if Mr. Rick Fox refuses to acknowledge my hastily scrawled notes written in my own blood and shoved under his windshield wipers at 4 in the morning."