Darkside Entertainment

Rating: ONE "Next Up? Hamburger Helperistics!" BUSTED NUTS

Yeah. Okay. It’s like this, for me at least: In order to want to actively watch people fucking on tape, you’ve got to at least provide me with some modicum of entertainment. You know, something I can’t necessarily replicate, duplicate or copycate at home on a typical given day. Are you with me on that?

BYRON LONG PLOWING THE PIE FOR POSTERIOR POSTERITY

Mr. BYRON LONG'S TENDERONIES #3, apart from the Riceronis joke, doesn’t particularly provide what I would deem entertainment, on any level. I guess if you are a gay man and might like to see one particular, extremely well-endowed guy fuck some young girls, you might disagree. Especially as Mr. Long goes to great, cough, LENGTHS to emphasize the youth of his fuckees...with a charming one minute interview prior to each throw down.

Sample :

Long: How old are you?
Girl: 18.
Long: Why are you here?
Girl: To fuck.
Long: How old were you when you first sucked a cock?

Etc. Etc. No actually, not even etc., more like...military precision, or deja fucking vu:

Step one: lick pussy
Step two: suck cock
Step three: fuck doggie style
Step four: cum on face

That’s pretty much it, dog. None of these girls are particularly attractive, but it’s “over two hours” and it’s “all black” and, as if you cared, it’s “digitally mastered” with “superior sound”.

I’m grasping at straws here. I watched the whole thing at 32 times fast forward, and still fell asleep. Jesus. -- MS. PINK

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