Platinum X Pictures

Rating: FOUR "Chivalry Is Not Dead" BUSTED NUTS

STEVE HOLMES’ ANAL ROMANCE. Is Steve having a romance with an anus? Is it an erotic meditation on the love lives of people who are compulsively neat? Or is it? Yes. It must be: a testament to the love between a man, a woman, and her asshole. Oh, the devotion! Who says chivalry is dead? I mean outside of us?

LARA STEVENS' SUCKING & FUCKING PARTICIPATION IN THIS FLICK MAKES US WANT TO INVADE HUNGARY. ONE NUT AT A TIME

It's funny though, the great Romantics -- Blake, Coleridge, Byron -- never really expounded on anal plunder in their works, unless stuff like that whole Kubla Khan pleasure dome thing was code. Anyway, they shoulda.

Anyways, someone up there in the San Fernando Valley heard our prayers. Five one-on-one scenes and no extra cocks to mess up the delicate balance of yin and yang. Making the girls all Eastern European starlets like the always welcome DORA VENTER and ANGELINA CROW, who parades around town with nothing more than an overgrown veil, is tops in our book. Ahhhh, romance is in the air. ANAL romance. -- STEELY ROB

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