Metro

Rating: FOUR "Ask For It By Name" BUSTED NUTS

Man. Metro. Again? I gotta get out of this syndrome I'm in. See, you KNOW you're stuck when you start LOOKING for certain vids. I mean GETTING is one thing. LOOKING is something totally different.

INARI VACHS GETTING READY FOR ANOTHER HARD DAY AT WORK

The Life Cycle of the SkullGame Reviewer

Stage One: Like a kid in a candy store you don't give a shit. You'll watch anything.

Stage Two: Same as stage one but ANYTHING now means ANYTHING only twice a week.

Stage Three: You'll only watch videos of Asian transsexuals. Once a month. And your name is MR. XTRA.

But when you start looking for stuff by name well you're fucking sunk. Because you are officially laboring under the illusion that the name will guarantee the experience. Which is bullshit. The only thing that can guarantee the experience is, um, pussy. And even then it ain't a guarantee.

So it is with PLASTER MY FACE WITH YOUR PENIS PASTE. A flick whose title makes any sayer of said title instantaneously GAY. Another METRO release so it's sort of dated however in this instance sort of dated just means more ANNA MALLE and INARI VACHS. Which means good fucking. It also means I gotta think about VINCE VOUYER's balls since it was Vachs who told us that he doesn't like his balls wet when he gets his cock sucked.

This bit of info will do me no good at all.

In any case this whole thing screams '90s from its FOUR HOUR running length to everyone in it; but Vachs and Anna Malle make me want to fuck holes in, well, holes. Yup. That's what they make me want to do. They DON'T make me want to tell anybody ELSE about the vid, however. Especially if I gotta SAY the name. -- VINNIE ROSE

Buy it NOW!