Metro

Rating: THREE "Warning, Warning Nuclear Attack" BUSTED NUTS

Yeah. Something for every goddamned price point here at The Mack.

This one's for all those who have run the numbers on 25¢ movies when compared to jizz-jerking effort and actual amount jizzed and come up with an algorithm that says beyond a shadow of a doubt that TWO hours of cock gobblin', pole smokin' DVD fun, when broken out in terms of sheer number of spermatozoa per $14.95 expenditure is a good goddamned deal.

WE HAVE A STRONG AND SNEAKING SUSPICION THAT CHRISTGEN WOLF'S FACE WILL, BEFORE TOO LONG, BE CRUDELY ATTACKED BY MULTIPLE SPERMS.

So it goes with SPERMS ATTACKING MY FACE, a common malady in certain environs MACK-side -- the frontseat of our cars, our office, our studio, the business end of our cocks -- where the average passerby with tits like CHRISTGEN WOLF's, is likely, with little or no provocation, to find her face being SAVAGELY attacked by not one, SPERM, but by several million SPERMS.

The horror. The whore or...

...fairly average sperm spillage fare.

For probably fairly average sperm spillage. METRO has this mystique that's been built up around it for reasons not entirely clear to me but that I suspect have everything to do with the economics and sociological fucking impact of inexpensive cocaine cooked into what is commonly called crack.

Which rather indirectly (or directly) has resulted in sperms attacking faces in San Fernando Valley.

Can you fucking believe it? -- VINNIE ROSE

Buy it NOW!