Mayhem

Rating: TWO "Buddy Hackett Loved Blueberry Pie" BUSTED NUTS

I love pie. Oh yeah. Ollalaberry pie. Apple pie. Key lime pie. Oh yeah, just about anything with a fruity fruity feeling. I mean FILLING. Anyways, I love all kinds of pie.

But Sodomy Cream Pie?

YOU EVER GET THE SENSE THAT TAYLOR RAIN'S PROBABLY SPENT ABOUT HALF HER LIFE DOING EXACTLY THIS?

You know I don't even have to know what that is to know that that is something that while it involves pie, it also involves SODOMY. And while I'm just fine being in the driver's seat on the whole sodomy train, I try to stay well away from the dining car on this one. So I don’t know about Sodomy Cream Pie.

What I do know is that while any movie with supersonicslutresses TAYLOR RAIN and KATRINA KRAVEN can’t be all that bad, this one failed to hold my interest, what with the compilation-piece-cut-together-with-whatever-happened-to-be-on-some-douchebag's-harddrive look.

So, while for the most part this movie was pretty goddamn bad, the scenes containing Taylor Rain ALMOST make up for the horror that the rest of this fuck flick is.

To which I say: "Please God make it stop!"

And, curiously enough, He did.

I mean right after I jerked off. But still. -- ITALIAN SAL

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