Platinum X Pictures
Rating: THREE & A HALF "It's The Pause That Refreshes" BUSTED NUTS
Well, this is my first porn review for this site. Hell, it's my first porn review for any site, period! Shit me, what would me mother, dirty whore that she is, think? Ah well, guess my dad, drunken fag that he is, wouldn't have any qualms with it. But I can imagine most of you don't give a fuck about my personal life, so I won't waste any more of your goddamned precious time.
But the title says it all really: some of these girls are absolute filth.
NOW, WOULDN'T BOBBI EDEN LOOK SOOOOO MUCH BETTER WITH A NICE COCK IN HER MOUTHCOOZEASS? WE THOUGHT SO.
They're probably adorable (they seem pretty cool in the behind-the-scenes feature) but when the cameras are rolling some of these gals get nasty--and that is no bad thing.
The first of five scenes stars ESTELLA (a Brit - yay!) and MIKAYLA, almost identikit brunettes with hot bodies and even hotter tongues. They lube each other up gorgeously, dirty-talking like true professionals. Mikayla has an awesome tattoo up her back--though if you're not a tat man, you're screwed coz it's HUGE. Cue plenty of pussy-to-mouth and ass-to-mouth with a whole arsenal of dildos, Mikayla especially, genuinely seeming to get off on it all.
But all this would appear to be a teaser for TERRI SUMMERS and BOBBI EDEN, who totally look the part (no wonder they're the cover girls). But...that's as far as it goes, both looking so uninterested they might as well have "GIVE ME THE MONEY NOW" written on their foreheads. Sure, they fake it OK, but it's bullshit compared to what's gone before it.
KELLY KLINE and MONIQUE ALEXANDER most definitely improve the situation, looking like they've walked straight out of cheerleading class in their underwear (i.e., college bad girls). Monique has a tanned body to die for, and thank fuck they enjoy it: Monique literally screws Kelly's pussy with an evil-looking glass dildo, and almost loses her powers of speech when Kelly exacts her revenge. And both of them lose control over a huge double-ender, only the token strap-on sequence ruining things: I haven't seen a girl yet who can use one of these things.
MASON STORM and ISABELLA's scene is definitely one for the hispanic M.I.L.F. lovers out there. Sure, their fake tits look OK, but their bodies and faces seem 10 years ahead of them. Talk about doing a marathon around the block, girls... they too go through the faux-lesbian motions. I've got bigger hard-on's listening to Foster and Allen (think Simon and Garfunkel minus the talent and good looks).
Skip it and move on to ROXY JEZEL and BOO D. LICIOUS (what a name, genius!) who look fresh from satisfying PINK's urges on the Lady Marmalade video shoot. You gotta give them points for effort: their double-ender all but vanishes between them in a blur of screams and moans from Roxy, Boo clearly the strong silent type (she soon proved me wrong about that strap-on idea I had). By the time Roxy's got Boo licking her ass better you won't feel short-changed on effort with Roxy's face covered in sweat and a satisfied smile.
All in all it's hit and miss, but the odd-numbered scenes are worth checking out. Truly Dirty Girlz, indeed. Lesbos like we like 'em. -- TEABAG
Buy it NOW!
