The SKULLGAME Tribute To The Letter "S" Is Proudly Sponsored by SLAMTIME SKAG: The Heroin To Have When You're Having More Than One. Or 10.
THANK YOU SLAMTIME FOR.......I'M SORRY. WHAT WAS THE QUESTION AGAIN?
DENNIS RODMAN COLLECTING P DIDDY'S EMPTIES
THE VAGUELY SINISTER SEMEN SUCKER: WILL SHE TURN YOU ON? OR TURN ON YOU?
LONDON (SkullGame) -- Ex-basketball star and airport baggage boy DENNIS RODMAN is "dating" notorious British partygirlwhore ALICIA DOUVALL -- who once claimed to have been pregnant with another rich Negro's, Sean "P Diddy" Combs, baby.
The 43-year-old swordsman has been on a series of "dates", some lasting even longer than 59 minutes, with the "25-year-old" "blonde" "bombshell", who boasts 32GG bazoogas and who he met at a Hollywood party. The bazoogas we mean.
A source close to Alicia tells SkullGame, "It's like the meeting of the desperate and the dumbfounded. And she can't believe her luck. She's used to dating Z-list celebs, like SISQO, but Dennis is very well known and therefore sort of, well, possibly loaded?"
Oh, yes. Very definitely loaded.
LENNY KRAVITZ UNCOVERS ONE PIECE OF PUSSY LEFT ON EARTH THAT HE HAS NOT POKED AND IT BELONGS TO...PARIS HILTON?
REALLY? I DIDN'T? OH, OH, OH...THAT WAS SISQO. MY BAD...NEVERMIND.
HOLLYWOOD (SkullGame) -- Rock jam junkie LENNY "If It's Pussy, I'm Fucking It" KRAVITZ, is arranging a dinner date with newly single slut socialite PARIS HILTON.
The singer, 40, who acts just like you'd expect a Jew who woke up to find his ass in a Nigga's body would, split from NICOLE "Who?" KIDMAN in January, and has been pursuing the lanky reality TV star slut since she abandoned the not-even-warm corpse of her relationship with Backstreet Boy lover NICK CARTER.
A friend of the rocker says, "Lenny thinks she's so sexy and he's arranging to hook up with her for dinner. This especially after noticing that according to his Fucktronix Cyborg 69 Oracle Database 8i, there is a 99.087 probability that she is the last piece of pussy on this god's green earth that he hasn't yet tagged."
We can only wish him luck. And a renewed reason to live after he realizes his possession of the Earth's last piece of unKravitzized pussy has created a yawning void in his now empty life.
SUNSET THOMAS: SKULLGAME. SAUSAGES. AND SEMEN.
MS. THOMAS' WELCOME TO SKULLGAME, DESPITE ITS BREVITY, WAS MOST REMARKABLE FOR THE SHEER AMOUNT OF COCK IT WOULD SOON INVOLVE.
SAN FRANCISCO (SkullGame) -- First of all let it be said that the sheer depth plunge of our present crash into meth-induced fatigue has NOTHING at all to do with our reigning impression that SUNSET THOMAS, the siren of sausage-based stage and screen, needs to get fucked by us for a variety of reasons all of them ending in coconut.
Arguably the number TWO porn wage earner after the plasticine JENNA JAMESON, Ms. Thomas, despite 12 years in the business, specifically the business of the business end of the cock, despite motherhood, despite pending divorce, has embraced nothing more fully than the dictum that a day without dick is like a day without sunshine.
TODAY, however, TODAY that dick would be the big dick of the biggest dick we know: CORNHOLIO.
1) He had an 8 PM interview.
2) We told him he had to be there at noon.
3) He got there at 8:30 (which is technically on-time, Pacific Negro Time).
SUNSET grabbed his dick. The rest is dick-grabbing history.
SUNSET SALUTES YOU, THE READER, WHILST SIMULTANEOUSLY BEING ASSAULTED BY CORNHOLIO: A MAN WHO'S GOT AN INSTINCTIVE FEEL FOR GOOD PUSSY
SKULLGAME: You wanna start whining about how hard it is to get fucked for a living? Or do you wanna gimme the political answer wherein you try to get me to believe that you'd do it if they didn't pay you?
SUNSET THOMAS: (pause) Well, NINA HARTLEY said that if I didn't like it I shouldn't do it and I believe that. I mean they're constantly call me for that on the set. I'll try to make the guy keep fucking me while they stop to adjust lights or something and...
SkullGame: Did you say fuck me?
ST: I said 'fucking me.' But fucking is fun. But I try to mix it up too. I dance, personal appearances and I've been meeting my fans up at the KitKat Ranch. I love meeting my fans. So yeah, I'm into it.
SkullGame: KitKat Ranch, hunh? Well, listen, I don't know your work, I've never seen your films but I think you're a genius. And more importantly I am one big ass fan of yours baby. And I'd like to meat you. And that's no typo.
ST: (grabbing CORNHOLIO's cock Sunset starts doing that fuck shimmy all up and down his body to the professional delight of STEELY ROB who was there taking photos) Well come visit me.
SkullGame: Heyyy, that shit might work on Stern, baby, but, uh, but, but over here at, um....ok, quick FIVE EASY PIECES: a midget or a monkey in a tuxedo?
ST: A midget. I hear that they got big dicks. MINI ME? He's supposed to have a big dick. I mean it's like the length of his arm.
THE ERSTWHILE JOURNALIST BEING PLAYED LIKE A FUCKING BANJO
SkullGame: That ain't saying much. OK, favorite charity?
ST: Something for AIDS.
SkullGame: OK. You're bringing me down. Hitler: Misunderstood?
ST: Ummmm. Shit. You're trying to get me in trouble. Well, let's just say....he. OK. Well he did some things that...hey, this is like a trick question. I'm just going to say MISUNDERSTOOD.
SkullGame: I forgot what the question was anyway. Maxed out Visa or meth habit? A question I ask mostly to see if you're holding.
ST: I don't do drugs so that's easy. I'll take the Visa.
SkullGame: Alright. And how much would they have to pay you to make a movie with me?
ST: Nothing. Cuz I know you Black guys are packing. But I'd charge HIM (she points at STEELY ROB).
THE SIGNS SAY EROTICA. SHOE. I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK?
SkullGame: As you are obviously the best fucking pornstar in the entire world and more importantly the one with the best sense of fucking taste and style I'd have to say that this interview is now officially over. UNofficially I will commence to trying to fuck you as aggressively as possible. I mean, you know, for professional reasons and...
ST: I'm sorry. I have dinner scheduled with The Spectator. And then Howard Stern next week. Thanks for coming. Buy a DVD. Talk about my new DVD, MISTY BEETHOVEN: THE MUSICAL. So long. See you later. Goodbye. [After five minutes of this CORNHOLIO wanders off, forgetting to turn off the tape recorder and capturing for posterity 58 minutes of his deep thought on how many ways he'd like to "wax that ass."]
