Red Light District

Rating: FIVE "Drinks Every Bartender Must Know" BUSTED NUTS

CUM FART COCKTAILS redefines the "money shot" for the third millennium. I'm so tired of the hand-jerked facial. I'M fucking my fist; I don't need to see the same thing on my television. And I always wondered why it was so important to see the on-screen cock spewing forth. It does nothing for me. If you want to end a porno scene in a way that appeals to me, have the men taken before
a firing squad, fed to lions, or dropped down a deep pit.

NAUDIA NICE: ISN'T SHE THOUGH?

Anyway, we all know the problems with ATM. It's a don't-try-this-at-home deal suited for hired professionals, VINNIE ROSE, and motel rooms, away from those with whom you share silverware. But it looks so cock-gratifying, that I am now a convert, searching for a couple of escorts with said repertoire. If the ho's in this movie are for hire, I'll hop the next westbound train.

Ten talented ladies appear, all of whom terminally confuse and frustrate many wads of spermatozoa. Only the lovely CRIS TALIANA doesn't do anal, and she more than makes up for that by lapping up cum puddles off the floor, as they drop from her girlfriend MAXINE's ass.

Each scene begins with some girl-girl fun, with lucky men soon mixed in. My favorite is when ROXY JEZEL starts out punching and kissing a fight training dummy, all while smoking a cig. This cuts to her on her knees with a stilletto shoe replacing the cigarette in her mouth. TYLA WYNN's shoe, to be concise.

The intro's make for a perfect blend of light fetish and gonzo action. And they set the bar high for the psychotic cocksmen to maintain the mood. The girls gag on schlong, but guzzle jizzle out of each others' butts like it's nectar. KATJA KASSIN and GIA PALOMA are so beautiful, I don't get all homophobically grossed out seeing them slosh butt snots around with their tongues, until finally "ALL CUMFARTS SWALLOWED," just like the box cover promises.

This movie breaks new ground, challenging the audience by beginning a scene with NAUDIA NICE and LEE ANN actually PUTTING ON clothing. I guess that's part of the fetish angle. Buy this one for the inspiring sex, and all its sequels. -- JIMMY THE G

Buy it NOW!