Video Team
Rating: ONE & A HALF "It's A Good Start, But..." BUSTED NUTS
I’m calling an emergency meeting. Everyone in my office. It's the one past the Tahitian secretary and the framed poster of Immortal breathing fire at one of their gigs.
WE ARE FRIGHTENED. AND CONFUSED. AND CONFUSED AND FRIGHTENED.
We need to discuss the role and presence of Asian women in porn. Frankly, there aren’t nearly enough of them, and I’m pointing to my overhead graph here, contrasting the disparity of porn-buying males' interest in Asian chicks getting fucked and actual, said Asian chicks.
Let me rephrase that. There aren’t enough GOOD Asian chicks in porn.
But there are a bunch of babes in third world Asia. Look no farther than Thailand. I mean, some of the creme of the crop sluts in porn today are either Thai or pretend to be (hint: they all have "Thai" in their stage names). We know from DEEP AND MEANINGFUL PERSONAL experiences that the going rate to get laid in Thailand ranges from $20 to $50. So why not make movies in Thailand? How much more dangerous than Brazil can it be? Wait, don’t answer that.
So, thank you, Video Team, for getting the ball rolling. PATPONG ANGELS takes place in Thailand, with all Thai girls. Great. But not.
To rattle off exhibits A-F:
1) chicks that don’t know how to fuck.
2) footage of clothed cameramen trying to get the silly girls to do what they're supposed to.
c) looks of fear.
a) looks of confusion (even worse than above)
5) WAY TOO MUCH dildo fu.
F) even more too much dildo fu in light of the fact that, in about 30 percent of the scenes, the dildo is far more lucky than the poor saps in this movie who watch the dildo do its thing while the dudes look on.
Seriously, now, can't we get Thai girls to actually get laid in movies about Thai girls who get laid? How much more would it cost? What, an extra 50 bucks?
Also, they must not have invented anal sex in the third world. Some of the men might have gotten some funny, fuzzy ideas, though. Scene one has the reluctant hero of the video, the dildo, make its tentative way into the ass of the girl, who comes to her senses about 15 seconds later. No more forays for the rest of the feature.
Ok, look. We need some focus and application. Go out there with some real porn stars and some real cash, get some real sluts who know how to fuck (ahhh... if only they raised Asian orphans in Eastern Europe), and get some proper editors. PATPONG ANGELS is a good start, but crashes and burns within a few minutes. -- STEELY ROB
Buy it NOW!
