Vivid

Rating: THREE "As Fucking IF" BUSTED NUTS

You know some philosophers say that we see the world as we need to see the world: as a reflection of ourselves. And so it follows that a depraved fucking monkey like me might well imagine that the world is populated with drug-addled fuckers who'd knife you in the back in a second if they thought they could make a buck off of it. And naturally if this is the world in which I am master this is also the context from which all of my reviews come.

HOWFUCKINGEVER...

I think it safe to say that objectively goddamned speaking this movie was not only directed by, but clearly is populated with drug-addled fuckers who'd knife you in the back in a second if they thought they could make a buck off of it.

I'm speaking here of porn's Typhoid Mary, Marc Wallice. He of the "I Know I Have HIV But I'll Fake My Clearance Just For Fun" 1990s debacle.

But alla that political shit aside, this movie about a sort of Dr. Jekyll character and his students that invent/discover/fabricate the world's best aphrodesiac that in full-blown Ebola fashion affects all those that come into contact with it ULTIMATELY turning a blow up doll into GINGER LYNN, is a tender homage to love, latex and the transmigration of the human soul.

ONCE UPON A TIME, WHEN PUBIC HAIR ROAMED THE EARTH...GINGER LYNN WAS THE GODDAMNED IT GIRL

You see what I mean? It's not just me right?!?? The acid/coke/crank HAD to be flowing hot and heavy here, right?

Despite the entirely threadbare plot, horrible dialogue and shit-sacking editing, this flick STILL manages to give us something worth watching. To whit: Ginger Lynn ankles high. No one and I do mean no one got fucked in the ass like the former MRS. CHARLIE SHEEN did. Such style. Such panache. Such semen extracting abandon.

YOUNG LOVE: AGELESS AND EVERGREEN.

Which is just enough to get me to forget that this is actually a goddamned Vivid release. And you don't have any idea how it pains me to say that.--VINNIE ROSE

Buy it NOW!