VCX

Rating: FIVE "The Devil Made Me Do It" BUSTED NUTS

I'm on a goddamned mission from God.

I know, I know I might have led you to believe that I was finished with the vintage shit last week when I reviewed the great STACK EM' DEEP but alas no. It's like the fucking degenerates course work 101 of how our balls became so big. It's the rosetta stone of fuck flicks, all of this vintage shit. It's a slutastic snapshot of how exactly our cocks have worked for the last 30 fucking years.

And in that goddamned regard it is invaluable.

Which brings us to THE DEVIL IN MISS JONES. Made back when porn was still trying to pitch itself as useful (health films) or useful because it was artistic (erotica), THE DEVIL IN MISS JONES follows the post-suicidal-death affairs of a one Miss Jones, a spinster who did herself in because life held no joy for her.

GEORGINA "EYESHADOW" SPELVIN SUCKING COCK LIKE HER LIFE DEPENDED ON IT. WHICH, IN THE CONTEXT OF THIS FLICK, IT FUCKING DOES.

She's met at the Pearly Gates and....wait a minute...hahahahahaha....I just said "PEARLY." Uh, anyways, she's told that the fact that she never put herself in the position TO sin meant that her level of experience wasn't great enough for them to decide if she should go to heaven OR hell. So, in essence, go back and live.

And she does. Especially if by live you mean suck and fuck and fuck and suck your way through an army of angry cocks.

So far, so good.

Until the end when of course she meets Damiano, I believe, as the Devil who tells her that she is IN FACT in hell and her punishment is to always seek but always be denied fulfillment. In other words, she can fuck as much as she wants but she will never be able to CUM. Forever. And ever.

Cue: long wailing scream.

End of movie.

Genius.--VINNIE ROSE

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