VCX

Rating: FIVE "I Learned A Trick When 17" BUSTED NUTS

I'm on a fucking roll with this shit. A...fucking...roll with the vintage shit. ULTRA FLESH is a fucking genius clinic on how movies are made when you consume huge amounts of blow knocked back with tequila chasers, 'ludes, and acid.

SEKA!!! SEKA!!! SEKA!!!

In other words: how every single fucking movie was ever made in 1980.
Or at least how every single fucking review is written by me in 2004.

Filmed on film and featuring pubic hair and a Hall of Fame contingent of porn pioneers this flick, however, is NOT the visual equivalent of listening to a Ricky Nelson record. I mean you don't dig it because it's old and quaint. You dig it because your dick digs it.

AND THE CURTAINS MATCH THE CARPET: LISA DE LEEUW IN ACTION

Your dick digs the fantastic SERENA fucking a midget. Your dick digs buxotic redhead LISA DE LEEUW and LITTLE ORAL ANNIE's extraordinary skill with the plumbing. And most of all what you'd be digging would be the goddamned ICE QUEEN. That's right: SEKA.

Man. I weep. I weep. And that just ain't the acid-tequila-blow-'ludes talking either. Seka is hotter than a Mexican's lunch and the fact that the movie seems to be about her being sent to Earth by an intergalactic counsel to begin reenergizing Earth's male population, a population that had previously been rendered impotent by space aliens, just ADDS to the total lunacy of a flick that will make you fuck for the day that the human race stands tall once again.--VINNIE ROSE

Buy it NOW!