ARE YOU READY? ARE YOU READY? THEN LET'S GET IT ON!!! IN A KIND OF A MARVIN GAYE WAY, BABY
"I AM THE PATRON SAINT OF FIGHTING MIDGETS!!! AND ITALIAN SAL'S PERSONAL VALET!!! FEAR ME, FEAR ME. LET ME SHINE YOUR SHOES!!!
TARA REID AND SHANNEN DOHERTY BITCH SLAP THE FUCK OUT OF EACH OTHER FOR OUR SORDID AMUSEMENTS
FEAST YOUR EYES ON MY SAGGING SACKS OF REGRET...AND GET ME ANOTHER FUCKIN' DRINK, WHILE YOU'RE AT IT!!!!
MIAMI (SkullGame) -- Feisty Hollywood beauties...heyyyy...who the fuck are we kidding? Celebrity Sluts TARA REID and SHANNEN DOHERTY became embroiled in such a fierce shouting, screaming, and drunken slurring and slapping match that you'd have thought that they were at TOM SIZEMORE's house instead of the trendy Miami nightclub Mansion.
THE COLD WAKE UP IN THE MORNING SCREECHING REALITY
The "actresses" were "partying" at Ocean Drive's Volleypalooza tournament on South Beach when they began to trade angry words. Said a SkullGame correspondent, "They were squabbling. And then Tara tried to get Nicole Richie's bodyguard to throw Shannen out. To which Shannen replied, 'I don't care. She needs to go to rehab.'"
AND THE JIVE ASS BULLSHIT FUCKING FANTASY THAT LASTS PRECISELY AS LONG AS IT TAKES FOR YOU TO BUST A NUT IN HER BUTT
Later that night, Reid was reportedly so drunk, she had to be carried out by the bouncers she had just sucked off while we sadly wonder: how is it that all of these various rivulets of shit--NICOLE RICHIE, PARIS HILTON, CARMEN ELEKTRA--just all form this great rushing tributary of turd that's blotting out our fucking sun? Enquiring minds want to know.
ANOTHER ITALIAN SALVO...HONORARY MACK AVENUE SKULLGAME MOTHERFUCKER VINCE VOUYER IS A FUCKING FIGHTER!!! AND YES, HIS LAST NAME IS SPELLED CORRECTLY HERE, SO STOP FUCKING EMAILING US
ITALIAN SAL LOOKING FOR SHIT TO STEAL WHILE AN UNWARY VINCE VOUYER LOOKS ON
SkullGame: Vince! Thanks for talking to us today and taking time out of your busy schedule of fucking broad after broad after broad after broad after...
Vince Vouyer: You're welcome guys, I will do what I can to help, you know, get your story.
SG: Well, you know, we pretty much make up half the shit up there and the rest of the stuff is just hurtful lies, but I digress. Tell me about that guy you punched in the face, you know, in Cannes.
VV: Ah, yeah. That was Chuck “Chuckles” Martino.
SG: Chuckles! [Everyone laughing] So tell me, is this Chuckles guy enough of a prick that if we were to challenge him to a fight he would take it?
THE GIRLISH CHUCKLES MARTINO WITH SOME BROAD WITH A COCK
VV: No.
SG: So tell me, on a scale of toughness, one to 10, what would he be?
VV: Chuckles? Zero.
SG: [Laughing] So who would you say is the toughest guy in porn right now?
VV: T.T. Boy, without a doubt. He trained with Jean-Jacques [Machado] and… I think he was boxing for a while too.
TT BOY: THE TOUGHEST GUY IN PORN...WHICH, IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT, IS A LOT LIKE SAYING THE TOUGHEST GUY IN THE HAIR SALON
SG: But how did this Chuckles thing happen?
VV: Well, I got into the business on or about March of 1994. We were all supposed to meet at BUCK ADAMS' house and head out to Big Bear and shoot some videos. So, I'm sitting off to the side, I didn’t know anyone in the business at this point so I would just hang out to the side and keep to myself.
So I'm sitting there and Buck Adams comes up to me and says: “Vince, we got a problem.” So at this point I knew something was up because we had been sitting there for two hours and hadn’t left. He goes on to say: “Some of these girls got a problem with you.” So I say: "Problem, these fucking girls don’t even know me."
WHEN BUCK SAYS YOU GOTTA GO, YOU GOTTA GO
But I had been monitoring the comings and goings, noticed the girls looking at me kind of strange but what I noticed first and foremost was Chuck Martino, he was creeping around looking guilty as fuck. So I am pissed off now, I take the Production Manager outside and I say I want my kill fee. I gave up a weekend worth of work, I have to get my kill fee. Then I thought it over and told them to forget about it. The Production Manager was a cool guy, Buck was a cool guy, and they can’t help what these flaky bitches conjure up in their heads.
SG: So, what was the "problem"?
VV: Well, Chuck told these girls that I had hepatitis. This guy cost me a weekend worth of work and could have ended my career before I had even started. So I call him up and say: "You! You, motherfucker, are a dead man! I am going to fuck you up! Meanwhile he was saying, anytime pal and that kind of shit. Then he ducked and dodged me for a full 5 years and finally I see him at this bar. He's hanging with these big Pro Wrestler dudes, so I figured there is no point in doing anything here, these guys will break it up before it even starts. So I wait. Now a couple of weeks later, I find out he walks into a set while I am doing some chick, takes one look at me and walks out.
SG: So now you know he is a stone punk....I mean you are naked and he is scared.
VV: Right. So the next time I see him we're at the Cannes Film Festival and I notice this fuck can’t sit still he keeps looking around, at me, like he is scared. Like he thinks I am going to sucker punch him in the middle of the Cannes Film Festival. So, I guess he approaches MARK DAVIS and says to him: “What’s Vince’s problem, I hear he has got a problem with me and he is going to sucker punch me.” So Mark tells him: “He won’t sucker punch you, you’ll know when he’s going to hit you.” So Chuckles not feeling any better by what Mark told him asks Mark to talk to me. I told Mark: go back to Chuckles have him come up to me, put $1000 in my hand for that weekend of work, and not say a word to me and walk away. If he does that it’s done.
SG: That would be pretty funny, him just silently delivering your kill fee.
VV: Well that’s not quite how it happened. I am at a bar, but does he walk up to me with my money? No, he does the total opposite. He shows up with no money and he starts yapping. Meanwhile I can’t look at this guy because he such a fucking eyesore. He's just gabbing away: “Yo Vince, can I talk to you?” So I'm just sitting there, staring straight ahead with LEXINGTON STEELE and a couple of girls and I tell him: "No. Get the fuck away from me." He responds: “What?! Who the fuck...” and he storms off. Walks back over to his wrestler buddies at the other end of the bar and starts making an ass of himself.
He takes off his jacket at this point and heads straight at me screaming something. I can’t understand what he is saying. So I put down my drink and start walking toward him, take two steps, swing and BANG! I catch him right in his face and he disappears. I look around ready to take another swing at him and I can’t see him.
SG: Did he fucking explode?
VV: [Laughing] No, I look down and I see him lying on the ground with his head between these two chairs these old ladies were sitting on, so they look at him, they look at me and I realize what just happened. Lexington Steele grabs me by my arm and he is like, "let's go."
A LITTLE MORE TO THE LEFT, BABY...GOOOOOD. NOW BACK IT UP
SG: What about the wrestlers, did they do anything?
VV: Nothing at all, they look over and keep drinking. Meanwhile Lexington Steele and I decide we have to get out of there, someone was liable to call the cops, I am in a foreign country, that would be that last thing I needed, so I cut.
Well, the next day I see Mark Davis and I tell him: Mark if you see Chuck, you tell him it's over, done. But if he says this went down any different than it did, I will jack him every week just for the fuck of it.
SG: Did he keep the party polite from that point on?
VV: Whenever he talks about me he has got nothing but good things to say about me.
SG: Genius.
