THIS edition of SkullGame is being brought to you by COOCH COUCH [TM]: The couch to have if you want LOTS of pussy.
HAVE A SEAT. TAKE A LOAD, OR 5, OFF.
AND FROM earlier in the week....
JESUS CALLING VINNIE HOME. IF SALES IN FUCK VIDS & SKULLGAME STORE T-SHIRTS DON'T IMPROVE 32%! FORTHWITH: OUR MARTIN LUTHER KING FUCK VID & T-SHIRT SALE! PLUS: IRANIAN HOLO-CAUST CELEBRE, SUPERMODEL SEX TAPE SUIT & BODYBUILDING, BODYKILLING! LOADS!
BUT FIRST this word from JESUS, Lord, Savior, and who, while presently deceased, purportedly lives "everywhere."
"I WILL MURDER VINNIE ROSE FASTER THAN YOU CAN SAY 'ONE JEW JOKE TOO MANY' WITH GREAT DELIGHT IF YOU ALL DON'T DELIVER TO HIM A 32% MARKET INCREASE IN FUCK VIDS & SHIRTS & BUMPERSTICKERS FROM THE SKULLGAME STORE. MARK MY GODDAMNED WORDS. NOW PEACE BE WITH YOU."
There you go. Jesus SAID it. We BELIEVE it. And that SETTLES it.
Now, BUY, bitches.
WITH THE STRAIGHTEST OF FACES: IRAN PLANNING HOLOCAUST CONFERENCE. WITH MEL GIBSON'S FATHER.
"NO. NO. HOLD YOUR APPLAUSE. HOLD YOUR APPLAUSE. HOLD IT UNTIL AFTER I TELL MY JEW JOKE!!!"
TEHRAN, Iran (SkullGame) -- Iran, whose president has denied the Holocaust, much like MEL GIBSON's father who asserted that Eastern European Jewry had "just wandered off," said Sunday it would hold a conference to examine the "scientific" "evidence" concerning "Nazi" "Germany's" "extermination" of "6" "million" "Jews".
Hard-line Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has recently provoked global condemnation for saying the Holocaust is a "myth. A phantasmagorical Jew corruption of the real and lasting tragedy of World War 2: the loss of millions and millions of bankers, money changers, usurers, and blood-sucking leeches apparently necessary for the healthy functioning of a Satanic state like Germany" and calling for Israel to be wiped from the face of the earth.
Iran further alarmed Western countries last week by restarting its research at a nuclear facility after a two-year freeze. "It is a strange world. A strange Jew-infested world. I mean it is possible to discuss everything except the Holocaust and its attendant falsities," Foreign Ministry spokesman Hamid Reza Asefi told reporters. "The Foreign Ministry plans to hold a conference with the preeminent authority on such matters MEL GIBSON, SR. on the scientific aspect of the issue to discuss and review its repercussions."
Asefi did not say where or when the conference would be held or who would attend. He said the conference he announced was planned and supported by the ministry. On Saturday, Ahmadinejad urged the West to be open-minded enough to allow "a free international debate on the real aspects of the Holocaust fraud".
IN RELATED NEWS: WAS HITLER GAY?!?!?
MAAAAYYYYYBEEEEE.....
SUPERSKANK'S HUB HITS JOINT IN SUPERSKANK SEX VID FLAP
TWO WORDS: WHY THE FUCK BOTHER??!?!
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- Estee Lauder model CAROLYN MURPHY's ex-husband has been arrested for "attempted distribution of harmful matter" after he reportedly tried to sell video documentation of their honeymoon horror sex tape, replete with hour upon hour of his chicken-hawkesque and slobbering ministrations.
Jake Schroeder's been charged with sex crimes against humanity and extortion after being arrested last Thursday and was held behind bars for five days in California before being released on $33,002 bail. He had been picked up an unrelated charge that he had bounced checks in trying to purchase some Midol and those little airplane bottles of whisky.
Schroeder's bail money has been put up by our friends at the Internet Commerce Group -- the company trying to market the two-hour long video. Arizona police raided the offices of ICG on Friday and seized the original camcorder footage, which ICG had already digitized and which Schroeder is alleged to have tried to sell.
David Gringas, ICG's lawyer, tells SkullGame, "Our position is that no crime has been committed. You cannot commit extortion by offering to sell something you own. Even if it IS an extremely uncomfortable near-man-on-man sex video. So rather than risking a battle in civil court, where she might lose and see the tape released, Carolyn, or Carl, or whatever his/her name is, has decided to simply fabricate a false extortion claim against my client, the almost-gay Schroeder."
Murphy counters, "Of course I don't want the tape to come out. It is private and intimate moments of load gobbling from my honeymoon with a man that contributed the loads who I thought I could trust. It has turned out I was completely wrong. Guess my feminine intuition failed me."
Whatever.
OUR FRIEND CRAIG TITUS & HIS FITNESS CHAMPION BROAD ARRESTED & CHARGED WITH CHOKING TO DEATH, STUFFING IN THE CAR TRUNK & SETTING SAID CAR ON FIRE; SKULLGAME APPOINTED PUBLIC DEFENDER SAYS, "HIGHLY UNLIKELY."
WHO AMONG US COULD HAVE PREDICTED THAT IN THE MIDST OF A TSUNAMI-LIKE RAGE OVER MISPLACED PAPERCLIPS THAT SKULLGAME'S OWN CRAIG TITUS COULD HAVE CHOKED, STUFFED & BURNED HIS RECEPTIONIST AND LEFT HER FOR DEAD IN THE DESERT?!?! DID YOU?!?!
LAS VEGAS (SkullGame) -- Professional bodybuilder CRAIG TITUS and his "fitness champion" wife -- KELLY RYAN -- have been arrested in Massachusetts after several days as fugitives in a Las Vegas slaying. The FBI and local police arrested 40-year-old Titus and 33-year-old Ryan at a grocery store parking lot in Stoughton, Massachusetts -- about 15 miles south of Boston. They're being held in a police lockup in nearby Canton, Massachusetts.
Titus and Ryan are wanted in a warrant issued Tuesday in Las Vegas in the December 14th choking, stuffing in the trunk and burning of 28-year-old Melissa James, a former personal assistant to the couple who Titus told police he'd had a secret romance with before he discovered she wasn't so good with the paperclips. And shit.
Titus is charged with murder. Ryan is charged as an accessory to murder -- along with a third man who's already in custody. All three are charged with third-degree arson. James' charred body was discovered December 14th in the best hiding spot in the history of hiding spots: the trunk of Ryan's burned-out red 2003 Jaguar, in a remote spot off a state highway southwest of Las Vegas.
SKULLGAME CONTEST OF THE WEEK: WHAT DID ITALIAN SAL & CORNHOLIO SAY TO CYTHEREA TO INSPIRE SO MUCH MERRIMENT?!?!
DOES IT RHYME WITH "LOADS"? RIGHT ANSWERS, WHEN EMAILED TO VINNIE@SKULLGAME.COM, WILL GET YOU A T-SHIRT. AND A FREE NIGHT OF PURCHASING US DRINKS AT A DRINKING ESTABLISHMENT OF YOUR CHOOSING. PROVIDING IT'S NOT A WATERING SPOT FOR SAUSAGE-EATING SISSIES
