YO VINNIE,
I am probably not supposed to be a reader but I do read you and think you miss lots of opportunities to give really good advice to people who are obviously searching by going for the cheap laugh. So my question is this, is there any sex act that you think is NOT okay? Is there any sex act that you would qualify as degrading? Are you really as much of an asshole as you seem? -- H.C., New York (by email)

NOW WHO IS BEING DEGRADED, HUNH?!?! HUNH?!?

Dear Hillary Clinton: Well, last things first: one man's asshole is another man's cream pie. Which is to say not a single one of us is EVERY one's cup 'o tea. Or to borrow a line from Glengarry Glen Ross, "you don't like me. That's fine." And while I usually don't explain shit I will here because I respect the work you and your husband have done what with fat Jew broads with jiz-stained dresses and all, and that's that: what has this country come to when the simple act of telling the truth becomes assholishly offensive?

To wit: Is there any sex act that I would qualify as demeaning? Look, what the matter with you broads? Years and years of hearing/believing that you're like some valuable flowers of American womanhood has fucked up your minds since between consenting adults there's very little that demeans, I believe. A bad job that pays badly demeans more than a load in the face of a willing partner whose involvement is not driven by any sort of fear of a firearm. I once spit gum in the hair of a broad I was banging by accident and she was like seriously offended. The fact that I spit the gum to get it out of my mouth and it landed on a section of the bed that she later rolled her head in was NOT MY FAULT. But SHE was offended. Demeaned even. Two-day old chiclets now have the power to destroy years of carefully constructed esteem structures?

To quote baseball great, Jose Guillen, Please bitch.

And to your last point regarding the existence of sex acts that I do not think are OK between CONSENTING ADULTS? Yes. All sex acts that do not include ME and every stripe of fuckable woman? I think this is NOT very OK at all. But like the baseball great Bud Showalter once said, "get in, get out: bip bam boop."

Get it?