YO VINNIE,
My question: how drunk is too drunk to fuck a girl in your car who's had four straight scotches over at five hour period at a body weight of 150, a height of 5' 10", and a full meal of Mexican food immediately prior to? Procedural point: she walked to the car. -- Travis Bickle (by email)

YOU PASS OUT DRUNK AT CASA SKULL? YOU'RE GONNA WAKE UP WITH A COCK.

Dear HENRY KRINKLE: Well, we're no legal professionals, and outside of THE DOCTOR, who is actually a doctor and PACHANGA who's got a PhD in the medicinal arts, we're not doctors either. No. What we are, are men who know their way around a pussy with some degree of competence. In fact, sex was a pretty underground thing that was really only sort of done in odd places in Europe and I think we deserve all the credit for breaking it big here in The States like we did. Yeah, that WAS us and so it is with this long history as cock'smen that we can lay it all out for you. Kinda like that Jewish fella at the NEW YORK TIMES, Randy the Ethicist. And what we say is THIS:

If you get her back to your car on her own steam and you pull out your cock and she leaps on it like it's a snorkle despite her next day refusal to acknowledge that she remembers at all what happened because she was too drunk you must proudly so, and with no ethical qualms, say "you sucked my dick like a snorkle and it was GREAT."

Perhaps she feels embarrassed because she's "never done this before," or she vomited a little on your cock [HOT BOX is still trying to get us to take responsibility for her being triple teamed by us when she was sober as a church mouse]...who knows? What we DO know is that people have been drinking and then subsequently fucking since the dawn of time and rotten grapes made it all possible.

If you want to feel guilty about something? Yeah, feel guilty for not buying a SKULLGAME T-SHIRT.