YO VINNIE,
YOU, based on reading your writing, seem to like older women and so I'll ask you: what's the deal with old broad's lips? Not the actual lip but the skin leading up to the top lip? So, under the nose but before the skin of the top lip starts? Why's it get wrinkled? I mean old MEN'S lips don't wrinkle do they? I ask because this older woman was sucking my cock, I noticed this and could not maintain an erection since it reminded me of my dead aunt's upper lip. WTF? -- Nomi (by email)

OK...SOMEONE CALL THE COPS...WE NEED TO DO AN EXTRACTION & GET OUR MAN OUT OF THERE!!!!!!! THIS IS NOT A FUCKING JOKE!!! WE DON'T KNOW WHETHER HE LOST A BET OR WHAT BUT THIS KIND OF SUFFERING WILL NOT BE ALLOWED TO STAND!!! NOT ON OUR WATCH!!!

Dear FEAR OF A LEMON-SUCKED PLANET: Well, while in normal circumstances I'd rush to defend the grannies, the sexy sucking senior citizens, the adventures without dentures set, in this instance I will zag instead of zig and say boldly: it's like THE FEET.

In other words, IF you're even noticing the upper lip it means the upper lip has done something to deserve notice. YOU claim it's wrinkles, an all together novel cover for your possible homosexuality.

"I" claim that it is because she ain't doing the same due diligence that kicks in when you wipe your ass. Or brush your teeth.

While wrinkles are inevitable as you get older, HAIR on the upper lip of old broads is as eventual as hot flashes and husbands no longer fucking you leaving you free to be double teamed by the members of SkullGame of your choosing.

In other words: it's not so much that it's coming, because it is, it's what they do with it when it comes. The hair accentuates the wrinkles and creates a truly horrible canvas upon which the aspiring bon vivant can deposit his load. Get her to get rid of the hair [laser is the key or so ENGLISH BOB's tranny friends say], coat the upper lip with some Preparation H [don't fucking laugh, it works] and watch the years melt away while you drop loads like she was Dresden.

And yes, old men's lips DO wrinkle but unless you're in a boy's choir you're probably not going to be on the business end of a grizzled senior citizen suck job, so who the fuck cares?