BUT first we'd like to issue this letter of explanation to RICK SAN VICENTE over his apparent pique that ANTNEY MOMO, even with his extant man-boobery managed to bang Mr. RICK SAN VICENTE'S woman JILL and of course, his high dudgeon that we ran the following picture.

OF COURSE WHAT MR. RICK SAN VICENTE NEEDS TO NOTE IS: AT LEAST WE PHOTOSHOPPED OUT YOUR LICENSE PLATE & THE FACT THAT YOU WORK AT AMC MOVIE THEATERS.

You're welcome. You spic prick you.

Oh yeah: USC sucks.

RYAN PHILLIPPE WISES THE FUCK UP: DIVORCE PENDING

REESE WITHERSPOON caught husband RYAN PHILLIPPE fucking it up and down with a hot model bitch and subsequently freed him from his bonds of matrimonial servitude, up to and including "foot rubs" and "painful and painfully grim and continued 'sex acts'" with his erstwhile wife.

Don't say SkullGame never told you so: a blast from SkullGame's past. Better than fucking Nostradamus

LEGALLY BLONDE'S REESE WITHERSPOON NAKED!!! WE WISH? ACTUALLY WE DON'T. NOT AT ALL

Husband RYAN PHILLIPE Is Scratching His Head and Wondering "WHAT THE FUCK?"

FROM THIS...

In a move surprising no one and strangely foreshadowed in ITALIAN SAL's review of PREGNANT LADIES #19, film fox Reese Witherspoon of "Legally Blonde" fame has pulled a switch up on the confused and saddened Frenchman Ryan Phillipe.

...TO THIS: A FRENCHMAN SOBS IN FEAR; THEN SURRENDERS

"I was never told this would happen. Never. Did you know?" Asked the baffled Gaul.

Yes, French Fry, we knew.

Our condolences go out to Monsieur Phillipe for having to answer the "do you think I look fat?" question with the "of course you don't dear" lie 273.75 times in a row.

TITO ORTIZ REGALED WITH TALES OF 12,376 PENISES. NONE OF THEM HIS. "JENNA'S JUST SO WONDERFUL," SAYS TITO ABOUT "HIS" "GIRL," WHILE 12,376 MEN POINT TO THEIR CROTCHES & SMILE.

"I LOVE MY LITTLE LOAD QUEEN," SAYS THE OBVIOUSLY BESOTTED MEXICAN. "EVEN IF SHE DOES SMELL LIKE SEMEN. THAT'S NOT MINE."

LAS VEGAS (SkullGame) -- Every week JENNA JAMESON is the sponsor of "Silicone Sundays" at Forty Deuce at Mandalay Bay. Jenna Jameson is more than a star in Las Vegas: she is a native. And, since nowhere else do adult entertainment and the mainstream mingle quite the way they do in Las Vegas, Jenna Jameson has been savvy cashing in on that too.

When Jenna Jameson started dating Ultimate Fighter Of Ken Shamrock TITO ORTIZ they quickly became the hottest couple in Las Vegas. The ultimate fighter and the adult film star are welcome and regular guests at resort nightclubs and our local press has reported breathlessly on their frolicking together. Just when Vegas lost Carmen and Dave it seemed Jenna and Tito arrived to be Las Vegas' very public party couple.

Apparently, though, the bloom of love between the two is not appreciated everywhere. For example, at Marine Corps Air Station in Miramar, Calif. According to Marine Corps Times, Ortiz was to host a sold-out ball there when the Marines discovered to their horror that he intended to bring his girlfriend to the dance. Operation Stop Jenna came quickly. Major Jason Johnston, a spokesman and raving homosexual at Marine Corps Air Station Miramar told Marine Corps Times:

"We invited him, and he accepted. Then, it became aware to us that his guest was going to be his girlfriend. Then, we had to make a decision, and the decision made was that she was not an individual or guest that we really felt was appropriate for the Marine Corps ball. Because we're gay and all and don't watch any porn that features any routine acts of heterosexual sexual congress. And girl-on-girl scenes don't count at all."

But chivalry isn't dead. Ortiz has refused to go without his porn star love. Oh well, they will always have Vegas.

THERE are talents and there are talents and nowhere is there any talent that is as evident as the talent evidenced in the shape and form of our own evidently talented HEINRICH BIMMLER.

Bimmler, in addition to writing bromides for SkullGame has filmed a pilot for a show that he hopes "vill soon be ze toast of all ze Jew media," ENTER THE 4TH REICH. But because a picture is worth a 1000 year reich, we'll just show instead of telling. Extra points if you're also able to identify ITALIAN SAL PACINO as "The Jew" and Cornholio as "The Subhuman."

LIONS V. THE MIDGETS: A STUDY IN BLEEDING & BROKEN CONTRASTS

BEFORE THINGS WENT HORRIBLY, HORRIBLY AWRY....

CAMBODIA (SkullGame) -- Spectators cheered as the entire Cambodian Midget Fighting League squared off against an African Lion. Tickets had been sold-out three weeks before the much-anticipated fight, which took place in the city of Kâmpóng Chhnăng. The fight was slated when an angry fan contested Yang Sihamoni, President of the CMFL, claiming that one lion could defeat his entire league of 42 fighters.

Sihamoni takes great pride in the league he helped create, as was conveyed in his recent advertising campaign for the CMFL that stated his midgets will "... take on anything; man, beast, or machine."

This campaign is believed to be what sparked the undisclosed fan to challenge the entire league to fight a lion; a challenge that Sihamoni readily accepted.

An African Lion (Panthera Leo) was shipped to centrally located Kâmpóng Chhnăng especially for the event, which took place last Saturday in the city’s coliseum. The Cambodian Government allowed the fight to take place, under the condition that they receive a 50% commission on each ticket sold, and that no cameras would be allowed in the arena.

The fight was called in only 12 minutes, after which 28 fighters were declared dead, while the other 14 suffered severe injuries including broken bones and lost limbs, rendering them unable to fight back.

Sihamoni was quoted before the fight stating that he felt since his fighters out-numbered the lion 42 to 1, that they “… could out-wit and out-muscle [it].”

Unfortunately, he was wrong.

And another valuable lesson was learned: good midgets are hard to find.

KREMLIN PR CAMPAIGN ROCKED BY PUTIN RAPE JOKE; RUSSIAN PRESIDENT PLAYS GAME OF “JUST THE HEAD OF IT” WITH GLOBAL NEWS AGENCIES “CRYING, BATTERED, RAPED-WOMAN LIKE SENSITIVITIES.” A JUDGE ROY BEAN REPORT.

RUSSIAN PRESIDENT VLADIMIR PUTIN RESPONDS TO ALLEGATIONS OF MAKING PRO-RAPE COMMENTS AT AN OCTOBER 20TH MEETING WITH ISRAELI PRIME MINISTER EHUD OLMERT. “IT’S SUCH AN UGLY TERM—RAPE, THAT IS. I MEAN, ISN’T IT REALLY JUST ‘SURPRISE SEX’ WHEN IT ALL COMES DOWN TO IT? RIGHT, GUYS? RIGHT? PUSSIES…”

MOSCOW (SkullGame) — In response to a growing public outrage, The Kremlin released a meticulously formulated alibi this past week regarding President Vladimir Putin’s shockingly insensitive comments regarding the pending rape charges against pending rapist, and Israeli President, Moshe Katsav, labeling the entire fiasco a misunderstanding.

Kremlin officials, in a statement released Friday October 20th, hold that the entirety of the reported near-global offense is due to incongruence in dialect and vernacular. “In Russia,” a high-ranking official says, “rape is national sport. But in English? Not so much. Therefore there is clearly something that has been lost in translation.”

The comments in question were made to Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert on an Oct 18th visit, just days after Israeli police recommended that Katsav be charged with jewing a virtual cabal of female co-workers out of their underwear. "Say hello to your president,” Putin told Olmert. “He really surprised us. I took one look at him and said to myself, ‘he doesn’t look like a guy who could be with ten women.’Well he sure showed us. And them. But mostly them.”

The 60-year-old Katsav has went on record as denying any wrongdoing.

“Huh?” Katsav told SkullGame reporters when questioned about the charges.

This has not been the first time that Putin, a former KGB agent, has been publically decried for what Deputy Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov has chalked up as “mere earthly language” but what many prominent global voices have labeled “irresponsible” and, at times, “downright inflammatory.”

In a June 2006 press conference, Putin responded to a question regarding possible sanctions being levied against Iran in the event of continuing their uranium enrichment practices by posing a partially rhetorical, yet completely nonsensical, question to attending news agencies.

"What if my grandmother had certain sexual attributes?" he asked. "Then she would be my grandfather. And what if my grandfather had raped my grandmother? Then he would be her horse. And that would be pretty confusing, no? Does anybody understand what the fuck I’m getting at here?"

HAPPY FUCKING HALLOWEEN!!!

YOU KNOW, THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE WHO CAN SQUEEZE THE FUCKING JOY OUT OF ANYTHING

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