Ninn Worx

Rating: THREE “I’m too sexy for my girls” BUSTED NUTS
Antonio Adamo, you are not alone.

For every time we endured the faux-art fag dorkfest of any of Adamo’s productions for Private Video, for every time we watched and wondered who, WHO could possibly think any of the insufferable posing or homosexual airs were in any way a good idea, or even remotely amusing… we have CHRIS CROSS as the emphatic answer.

JESSICAS JAMMER AND SIMPSON'S AUDITIONS BOTH END THE SAME WAY.

Cross’ own excruciating parade all over the first installment of this series was nearly as unbearable as the constant supply of upper lip sweat from his pasty, bloated face. The man is of the unfortunate school of thought that he – or indeed, any man – by trying to take as much of the camera’s eye, and by trying to out-sex the poor women in the video who are just trying to earn a living, could possibly out-tease or arouse any audience made up of men who find sex with women exclusively appealing.

At least it’s good for a revolted laugh. Just one, though. Maybe. At least the guy kept his clothes on.

Oh, yeah, we almost forgot. There’s also pornography on these videos. It’s most probable that HILLARY SCOTT is up for anything involving her taking cock up her ass, even if one of those turgid members is in fact Cross’ own. Gah. But that’s dedication for you.

JESSICA JAMMER is the main attraction. She’s kind of like Jessica Simpson, but with no boobs and a cock up her ass. So it balances out. Now, if we can only make up for all the sweaty-lipped sashaying. – STEELY ROB

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