BOONG GA BOONG GA!!!!

Usually we just use this space to review websites that sport the MACK AVENUE SKULLGAME seal of universal cock approval by being disturbing, cock hardening, or disturbing and strangely cock hardening. This week we do that and more. That is, that and more that we can't fucking explain. Outside of saying, "ah, the Japanese." Jesus. This isn't even a website proper but Jesus...fuck it. We'll just let STEELY ROB tell you allllllll about it....

WHAT YOU IMAGINE YOU'RE DOING

Nothing spells the sweet satisfaction of revenge quite like shoving your finger up the ass of the person who has wronged you. Damn bitch done left you? Aha! Here’s an index up the keister! Boss got you makin’ him pots of coffee? Try to sit down after this one, fuck-o!

Ok, so maybe this thought has never crossed our mind, like, ever, but according to a Japanese arcade game called BOONG GA BOONG GA, it should have by now.

The arcade machine features a simulated, bent over ass in which you jam a plastic hand with a finger extended. The rougher you are, the more the character you picked before the game started suffers. Aside from the “obvious” ones like ex-boyfriend or girlfriend, you also get to choose child molesters, gold diggers, gangsters, mothers-in-law, and con artists.

If you’re married, imagine sticking your finger up your mother-in-law’s ass.

Yeah.... or not.

WHAT YOU'RE REALLY DOING. AGAIN. AND AGAIN.

But what you sick, fucking dudes are thinking is: “why the fuck do I even need some plastic finger to do my work? Alls I gots ta do is unleash the beast!” And that’s why, dear readers, this game will never appear on American shores.

Meanwhile, we know all you gameaniacs are wondering, “how do you win?”

OK, apparently, after you do your worst, you get a card that tells you about your sexuality, which is the most logical conclusion considering how much hatred and angst-ridden tooling around in someone’s corn hole can tell you about your libido. Those who hoped to be able to win the licensed outfits that the official Boong Ga Boong Ga mascots (a hand and a pile of shit) wear will be disappointed.


"I'M A PIECE OF SHIT." "AND I'M A FINDER OF SHIT.