THE SKULLGAME DICTUM--GET HIGH, BE HIGH, STAY HIGH—& THE BLEARY BEVY OF GIRLS FOR WHOM IT’S BECOME GOSPEL

LAS VEGAS (SkullGame)--The recently held 2004 AVN Adult Entertainment Expo (AEE) last week became a proving ground for many in attendance concerned with the micro-points of being the best fucking junkies that money can buy. With suckstresses CHASEY LAIN and MANDY STARR working hard to exceed the 2001 record for excess established by OLIVIA and DOMONIQUE SIMONE, they sadly only succeeded in being admitted to the hospital for suspected drug overdoses.

I ESCAPED FROM A PENAL COLONY...ON THE PLANET HOT&TIGHT

One of the most popular performers in the history of adult video and the one most likely to win the coveted LENNY BRUCE award, Chasey Lain, was admitted Saturday night after allegedly overdosing on a combination of methamphetamine and heroin that drug athlete of heroic proportions, VINNIE ROSE, supplied her. Sources say she had both drugs on her at the time as well as hypodermic needles, K, E, dilaudid, acid, oxycontin, fentanyl, peyote, cough syrup and roach poison, and that she was released from the hospital the following day. No charges were filed.

REPEAT AFTER ME: I'M A HOPELESS, WORTHLESS JUNKIE WHO WANDERS ALL OVER YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD...AND LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT!!!

Mandy Starr was also supposed to be in Vegas to sign at AEE, but being as high as an Olympic drug athlete can get, she never made it. Ever. Like ever and forever. She allegedly suffered what already seems to amount to a non-incident in her uphill quest for the gold--a minor drug-induced heart attack Wednesday--after taking cocaine as she prepared to leave Minneapolis. She was reportedly hospitalized and subsequently released.

Neither performer was NOT high long enough to be reached for a goddamned comment.

CORNHOLIO SAYS "WHEN NEGROES ARE OUTLAWED, ONLY OUTLAWS WILL HAVE NEGROES. WITH LANTERNS. ON YOUR FRONT LAWN."

"YOU'RE GODDAMNED RIGHT SHE DOES," SAYS PROFESSIONAL NEGRO CORNHOLIO. "ME"

This movie is clearly the best motherfucking thing to come along since that very, very, very, very, VERY gay LORD OF THE RINGS thing.

DIRECTOR FRANCESCA LE DESCRIBING HER PROBLEM WITH ITALIAN SAL AS THE REST OF US JUST TRY TO SNEAK LOOKS AT HER MOMO'S

SKULLGAME FASHION NO NOs

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO AND FOR THE LAST TIME, GOD, NO!!!

We get the RED SONJA theme, the Russian Steppes and borscht bit, but how the fuck that ties into the Pocahantas-Kabbalah theme we have no goddamned idea. It is in this spirit that the members of MACK AVENUE SKULLGAME bestow upon her

The Heart of the Sacred Order of the Baffled.

You should be proud, baby. Very, very proud.